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Band 5.5

Some believe that it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.) and, therefore, there is no reason to try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #process #species #e #g #dinosaurs #dodos #reason
A certain amount of people imply that we should not take any action regarding the extinction of
animals
 since it is a normal
process
.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 idea since different creatures get
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 because our human race harms their
environment
 and it is essential to learn about environmental care and respect through help provided to different animal species. One compelling reason why
this
 essay believes that we should definitely take action and help to decrease the percentage of animal extinction is because in numerous cases we are responsible for their environmental deterioration.
Although
 it is known that certain species have been in the
process
 of
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 for years, the harm that we sometimes produce to their natural
environment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 ends up accelerating their death.
For example
, in Tarapoto, Peru, sea turtles are
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a faster speed than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
 years
due to
 the amount of waste that they confuse for food in the ocean.
In addition
, we are aware that the extinction of
animals
 is a natural
process
 that has been happening since they appeared on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 their time
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
 on
this
 planet
also
 depends on how much we care, appreciate and respect their natural
environment
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 different
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
 we are not aware of the amount of help we can provide to protect our planet and
therefore
 our fauna by simply not contaminating it or helping to preserve food resources
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 which
animals
 depend
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For example
, just by not polluting the ocean, we would be helping thousands of sea
animals
 to live longer. In conclusion,
this
 essay has shown that
although
 getting
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 is a normal
process
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which all animal species will go through, it is important to prevent
this
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
to happen
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an accelerated speed. Decreasing environmental damage caused by humans and learning about how to take care
, respect
Change preposition
of, respect
show examples
 and appreciate our
environment
 are two reasons to support
this
 view.
Submitted by nila.hiperu on

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Grammar
Work on correcting minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve clarity and professionalism. For example, 'extincted' should be 'extinct,' and 'prevelance' should be 'prevalence.'
Detail
Further elaborate on some points to add depth to the argument. For example, the point about humans accelerating species death through environmental damage can be expanded to include more detailed consequences and examples.
Clarity
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic and supports it with logical arguments and specific examples.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating the topic and summarizing the points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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