Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

Different
people
argue that the use of
technology
has been beneficial by getting
people
closer.
However
, others believe that it has brought the opposite effect: driving us apart.
This
essay agrees that
although
technology
has provided us with some benefits, it definitely makes
people
lose focus
from
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on
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their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
therefore
, relationships. On one hand, the use of
technology
has shown different positive sides
such
as being able to connect with anyone who is overseas by making a call or sending a message.
This
has proven that thanks to technological devices,
people
do not need to travel anywhere in order to participate in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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meeting
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meetings
show examples
or see their loved ones.
On the contrary
, they can do it comfortably from their home.
For example
, apps
such
as "Zoom meetings" or "Microsoft
meetings
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Meetings
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" allow
people
everyday
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every day
show examples
and at any moment to make a
videocall
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video call
show examples
. On the other hand,
technology
has
also
been misused, bringing different drawbacks
such
as spending poor quality time with family or friends or even producing anxiety. Unfortunately,
in
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on
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many occasions,
people
spend quite a long time on devices, leaving their relatives or friends apart and realising stress hormones.
For example
, daily, plenty of families face
this
issue since their children prefer to play on their phones or ipads rather than
practicing
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practising
show examples
any activity that helps them to build affectionate bonds. In conclusion, a certain amount of
people
supports
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support
show examples
that
technology
has played a big role in helping
people
getting
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get
show examples
closer.
However
, from my personal belief, it has brought
much
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many
show examples
more disadvantages
such
as driving
people
apart from building and reinforcing relationships and getting anxious.
Submitted by nila.hiperu on

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clarity
For a higher score, try to ensure your ideas are consistently clear and elaborated. Some sentences could be rephrased for clarity and conciseness.
linking language
To achieve a higher score in Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that all paragraphs flow smoothly. Connectors and linking phrases should be varied and used naturally.
grammar sophistication
Check for minor grammatical errors and ensure varied sentence structures to improve the readability and overall sophistication of your essay.
balanced discussion
You have provided a balanced discussion on both viewpoints, which is essential for task achievement.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your argument effectively.
examples relevance
You have used relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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