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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced.

The diagram below shows how a biofuel called ethanol is produced.
#biofuel #ethanol
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The given process illustrates how
ethanol
Use synonyms
, as a biofuel, is manufactured.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are ten main stages in the production of
ethanol
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, commencing with the absorption of sunlight and
carbon
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dioxide
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 and ending with the utilization of resulting
ethanol
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 in transportation vehicles.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, trees and plants absorb sunlight and
carbon
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dioxide
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 as a source of energy
to
Change preposition
for
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 photosynthesis. These grown plants during
harvesting
Correct article usage
the harvesting
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stage
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are gathered
Verb problem
apply
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. In the next
stage
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, these products by machinery are converted into pre-processing
that
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and
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 in
fourth
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the fourth
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stage
Use synonyms
 are transformed into cellulose. In
fifth
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the fifth
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stage
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, which is conducted in
laboratory
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the laboratory
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 these materials are processed. In the following stages, a collection of sugars is manufactured.
Then
Linking Words
, through
biological
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a biological
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 process, microbes are combined with the resulting sugar which in
eighth
Correct article usage
the eighth
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stage
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 biofuel is created. It is noteworthy that
this
Linking Words
 produced
ethanol
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 is used as fuel in the vehicles,
such
Linking Words
 as cars, trucks and aeroplanes which in turn lead to excessive manufacturing
carbon
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dioxide
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. As can be seen, more
valume
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volume
 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 can induce a synergistic
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effect
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affect
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effect
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 during
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ethanol
Correct article usage
the ethanol
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 cycle
Submitted by saharaqajani on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ethanol, carbon, dioxide, stage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biomass
  • ethanol
  • fermentation
  • microorganisms
  • yeast
  • carbon dioxide
  • distillation
  • purification
  • dehydration
  • raw materials
  • storage
  • distribution
  • renewable energy
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable fuel
  • concentration
  • impurities
  • alcohol content
  • crop growth
  • conversion process
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