The internet provides us with information about life and cultures of different countries and some people say it is not necessary to visit these countries to learn about them. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.
There is a widely held view regarding replacing the virtual visiting of various
places
with travelling to those areas, Use synonyms
whereas
, I find myself among those with strong disagreement with Linking Words
this
approach. Travelling is essential for mental health and economic progress.
One explanation for rejecting the mentioned mindset is the necessity of visiting other Linking Words
places
for mental health. Use synonyms
This
means that in the present climate, the majority of community members Linking Words
have
occupied intensely with their professional pursuits. Verb problem
are
Thus
, they have more mental involvement leading them toward a high risk of various psychological ailments ranging from anxiety to depression. Linking Words
Therefore
, going on journies can ameliorate their condition resulting in more productivity and efficiency at work when they are back at their career. Linking Words
For instance
, those who work in healthcare centres need to be away from hospitals to regain their energy and spirit, Linking Words
otherwise
, they may lose their motivation because of the all negative energies that exist in those Linking Words
places
.
I tend to stand in opposition to resorting to The internet Use synonyms
instead
of physical travelling. Not only can a growing tourism industry has a determinant impact on host nations but Linking Words
also
it can pave the way for authorities of those areas to flourish their economy. Linking Words
Hence
, they should invest in Linking Words
this
aim and encourage residents to travel.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some may argue that because of high expenses and less free time online visiting Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
places
is an appropriate substitute for trips. It is contended that people can use the money that goes for travelling for other purposes. Take; video games, shopping, and food, Use synonyms
for example
as these activities need less money and time. Linking Words
However
, I tend to disapprove of them as if doing so the whole society may encounter stagnancy and less vibrancy.
In conclusion, the more people care about travelling, the more productivity they have in their work, Linking Words
accordingly
the whole community can benefit from a motivated workforce.Linking Words
Submitted by samirakasraee72 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay could benefit from a more explicit introduction that clearly states your stance on the topic and provides a brief overview of your main points.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The current transitions could be improved for a better logical flow.
relevant specific examples
While you have some examples, more specific and varied examples could strengthen your argument further.
complete response
You have a clear stance on the issue and support your argument with relevant points and examples.
clear comprehensive ideas
You successfully cover multiple aspects of why physical travel is important, including mental health and economic benefits.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs addressing different points of view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example