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Writing Samples
Band 6

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
In the present time, the
internet
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 has become more popular, and
as a result
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,
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newspapers are becoming an old thing. In my opinion, it depends on the individuals, there are some individuals who still prefer reading the newspaper
instead
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 of searching on the
Internet
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.
Body paragraph 1
The newspaper has become too old because of two main reasons.
Firstly
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, why should people spend their money on buying newspapers, when, they can just search on their laptops for the news
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Secondly
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, the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 has a lot more information than newspapers.
For instance
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, two weeks ago my friend's grandfather asked him about the weather, after approximately one minute my friend told him that today was going to be a rainy day, and if he did not use the
internet
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, he was going to spend above 20 minutes to find a newspaper.
Body paragraph 2
The
Internet
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 has become more popular in the past few years, nowadays, every family member should have his own device. a lot of individuals work from home using the
internet
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.
In addition
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, using the
internet
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 is not only for finding information, but you can
also
Linking Words
 play some games with your friends or watch television.
For example
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, Elon Mask, the owner of Tesla, once said that nobody can be able to continue his day without the
internet
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,
Body paragraph 3
because everything we are doing now depends on the
internet
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. like, using our mobile phones.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is true that the
internet
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 is more advanced and popular, but still, some people prefer to read the news from papers.

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task achievement
To improve the **task response**, you should make sure to provide a more detailed analysis of both sides of the argument, not just focusing on the benefits of the Internet. Include more specific examples and address counterarguments to strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
For better **coherence and cohesion**, work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. For instance, connecting sentences within a paragraph more effectively will help in making your essay flow better. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that they build on each other logically.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a crucial aspect of a well-structured response.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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