IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

#advances #science #technology #lifestyle #people #world #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, science and technology have become similar all over the world in
terms
Use synonyms
 of advancement. I strongly believe that negative impacts outweigh positive ones. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss my opinion more.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that we need to change our lifestyle in
terms
Use synonyms
 of knowing other cultures and traditions.
In other words
Linking Words
, if we allow people to increase their general knowledge, we will be able to achieve a wide range of developments.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we have to consider differences as competitive advantages that can enhance improvement.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is crucial to pay attention to how we would be able to differentiate between customs in
terms
Use synonyms
 of a well-developed community.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, some individuals tend to share their beliefs with other nations since it will help them to achieve long-term goals effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics believe that it is necessary to live with a specific way of life as it would be beneficial in
terms
Use synonyms
 of well-structured enhancements.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly think that we have to be flexible in accepting change orders, whether they are simple or complex, to find a practical solution for development.
Also
Linking Words
, it is vital to consider behavioural characteristics that can assist us in developing our mindsets,
such
Linking Words
 as our habits that sometimes we have to change for our well-being and self-improvement.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA, scientists argue that if you want to find a better prospect, it will be useful to improve your characteristics, since some circumstances are difficult
due to
Linking Words
 their fast pace. In conclusion, it is essential to allow people to increase their information in
terms
Use synonyms
 of achieving a wide range of developments.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I assume that changes are constructive, and will assist us with a well-structured prospect.
Also
Linking Words
, we need them for a different lifestyle
that is
Linking Words
 crucial for development.
Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating clearer links between your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that transitions are seamless.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, provide more specific and detailed examples that directly support your arguments. This will help in making your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Clarify and expand upon your main points to make your argument more compelling. This will help in achieving a clear and comprehensive response.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction sets the context well and clearly states your opinion on the topic.
supported main points
Good effort in providing examples to support your points, such as mentioning India and the USA.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your essay and reinforces your opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: