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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is better development?

#cities #people #bicycles #drive #cars #preferences #development
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Nowadays, in the 21st century,
individuals
Use synonyms
 are divided in their preferences of vehicles for transportation in the city
due to
Linking Words
 a multitude of versatile and multifaceted circumstances. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, their selected options might lead to different ramifications, which we will observe in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
According to
Linking Words
 me, bicycles are the better choice in order to improve the condition of our environment. First and foremost, it is worth noticing that our planet struggling with numerous problems created by human beings,
due to
Linking Words
 the burning of fossil fuels in our atmosphere the number of carbon dioxide
reinforces
Verb problem
is reduced
show examples
 significantly and in the future, it will lead to global warming. In order to avoid
this
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
 should be self-conscious
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
implement actions and be aware of everything. One of the best choices to change our natural environment is replacing contemporary
cars
Use synonyms
 with bicycles. They have a lot of features which attract citizens to choose them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are eco-friendly and boost the mood and emotional condition of humans by improving the physical and mental well-being of
individuals
Use synonyms
. By using two-wheelers inhabitants of urban and cosmopolitan cities may easily avoid traffic jams and ride to their destinations with fascinating natural landscapes. To cite an example, when human beings ride two-wheelers they reduce the risk of appearing of chronic and cardiovascular diseases which will influence to longevity of citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a huge amount of inhabitants prefer to use
cars
Use synonyms
. They are known to be fast and convenient in our daily experiences when we live like a squirrel in a cage and burn the candle at both ends. Motor vehicles
carry
Wrong verb form
carrying
show examples
 heavy items are much easier, in comparison with other transportation appliances.
Besides
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, many
individuals
Use synonyms
 suffer from different health issues or disabilities and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 provide them with enhanced mobility and influence them significantly. Apart from the mentioned beneficial sides,
cars
Use synonyms
 make remote or rural areas more accessible. As evidence, if
individuals
Use synonyms
 live in the suburbs and work in the city, they can easily reach their destination without any challenges. Weighting up both sides of the argument, it is worth noticing that riding a bicycle is a magnificent ramification for our future development.
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task achievement
Ensure to support your points with more specific examples and data where possible. This will make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to work on making your ideas clearer by using simpler sentences and avoiding repetition.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to logical flow and transitions to make the essay smoother and more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the essay maintains a consistent tone throughout.
task achievement
You have successfully compared both perspectives and provided logical reasons for each.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-presented and help frame the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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