IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart compares the percentages of four different locations in a town in Australia where
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are held, and the bar graph shows the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 in three types of dances in two age groups. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that close to half of the
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are held in private studios.
Also
Linking Words
, ballet
dance
Use synonyms
 was more popular among
students
Use synonyms
 under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old,
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 between 11 and 16 tend to join in modern
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart,
with
Correct your spelling
48
%48,
private
Change preposition
of private
show examples
 studios were where most
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 took place,
while
Linking Words
 college-based studios accounted for the least, at only %10. The percentages for school halls, and community halls (and others) are %24 and %18, respectively. Looking at the bar graph, ballet
classes
Use synonyms
 had 300
participants
Use synonyms
 aged between 11 and 16
years
Use synonyms
 old,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of individuals younger than 11 was double that. The number of
participants
Use synonyms
 in tap
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 was almost similar in both age groups. It was 450 for people under 11
years
Use synonyms
 old and for
students
Use synonyms
 aged between 11 and 16
years
Use synonyms
 old was approximately 425. The
last
Linking Words
dance
Use synonyms
 class is modern dances.
While
Linking Words
 300
students
Use synonyms
 attended modern
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
, the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 aged between 11 and 16
years
Use synonyms
 old was just above 500
participants
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, participants, students, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: