You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

In developing countries
poverty
is always a major problem so every government tries hard to figure out the best
way
to solve it. It is argued that the best
way
to solve
poverty
in developing nations is by providing at least six years of free
education
for each
child
, so there will be no illiterate
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. I believe that lack of illiterate people and free
education
are the solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
poverty
. When all children in the country can read and write that probably can guarantee families at least avoid
poverty
.
Therefore
,
education
is really important and should be provided for each
child
. If someone from a poor nation ,
for example
, got his
education
he has a better chance of finding a
way
to improve his financial situation.
Furthermore
, educating people may give them a better opportunity job which can lead to a better life. Most developing countries have a huge number of foreign workers who take their
money
to their families,so apparently
this
money
does not benefit the country in any
way
.
Moreover
, Teaching people can let them occupy these jobs and use the
money
in the country for their family.
For instance
, when a person from India has a job in Greece when he receives his salary he is going to send it to his family and
realtive
Correct your spelling
relatives
relative
in India, so Greece does not benefit from the
money
. In conclusion,in order to reduce
poverty
in developing countries, governments should provide an easy and free
education
for every
child
, and degrees the number of foreign employees.
Submitted by dihme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance your essay further, clarify your argument for providing education as a solution to poverty by elaborating on how literacy directly impacts employment opportunities and economic stability. Discuss how education can equip children with essential skills beyond just basic literacy and numeracy to make them competitive in the job market.
coherence cohesion
Improving coherence and cohesion can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your ideas. For instance, instead of simply jumping from one idea to the next, use transitional phrases like 'consequently,' 'therefore,' and 'in addition' to better connect your supporting points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for the reader.
task achievement
You included valid examples, such as the example of a person from India working in Greece, to illustrate your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: