IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that one solution to environmental problems would be for governments to raise the price of petrol.
While
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider
this
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 might be an effective measure, I would argue that there might be other measures with greater impact. If national authorities raised taxes on petrol,
this
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 would lead to two environmental issues.
Firstly
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, in terms of private cars, many commuters will have to consider how much they going to spend on their journey to compensate for the extra expense.
For instance
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, governments are required to enhance the city's public transportation, serving many
people
Use synonyms
 who choose mass transit
instead
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 of their private transport to reduce emissions and give more space for the roads.
Secondly
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, the measures about freight services, many goods will be transported by rail rather than truck,
this
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 ideal would bring back a lot of efforts for the city environment and
also
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 reduce the greenhouse effect.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 could
also
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 be a stopgap measure,
people
Use synonyms
 who visit the city centre will need to pay congestion charges in terms of reducing traffic jams.
For example
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, London has some policies about travellers from everywhere needing to pay some taxes to come in. Another policy is that fares by bus will be reduced to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to use mass transit in order to protect our environmental health and the earth. In conclusion, the rise of petrol taxes would be useful for
environmental-friendly
Replace the word
environmentally friendly
show examples
 transport measures,
although
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 in the longer term, other steps would be more effective.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph having a central idea. This helps the reader to understand your argument structure more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to create a smooth flow of ideas. While your essay generally flows well, try to avoid overusing or incorrectly using connectors.
Task Achievement
Present your opinion clearly in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for a strong, cohesive argument structure.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or details to strengthen your argument. While you provided some examples, more specific or diversified examples could enhance your argument's credibility.
General
Work on sentence structure to vary complexity and avoid possible errors. This will not only improve readability but also demonstrate your linguistic range.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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