The cheaper availability of international transport means that more people are able to travel abroad these days. It is claimed that this is improving understanding among the world’s population. However, others believe it is better to use mass media to find out about more about the world. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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International travel has become more affordable in recent times, enabling more people to explore a variety of foreign countries.

While

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some believe that

this

Linking Words

trend brings everyone closer together, others claim that mass media is a far more effective way to understand the world.

This

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essay explores both perspectives and outlines my view.

To begin

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with, most individuals prefer famous news outlets as their primary source of information because of the reputation and popularity of these mediums.

Moreover

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, these platforms cover all major events around the globe.

Although

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they are the most effective methods of reaching a wider audience simultaneously, there is a possibility of them being influenced by political leaders to advance their agenda.

For example

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, in America, many well-established news networks,

such

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as CNN and NBC, are believed to be under the influence of either the Democratic or the Republican Party.

Consequently

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, they may fail to present accurate data and may highlight negative aspects of the citizens of countries like India, China, or Russia.

Conversely

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, knowing other people in person has numerous benefits.

Firstly

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, individuals who travel to foreign countries get to physically meet local residents, and they can understand foreign cultures and traditions through their direct experience rather than relying on potentially biased opinions from news outlets. To give an example, tourists visiting nations like China, are mostly amazed by the technological advancements, urbanization, and humble nature of Asian communities, but

that is

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rarely shown by Western television channels.

Therefore

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, in my view, experiencing the world

while

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travelling is the most efficient approach to learning about various localities around the globe. In conclusion,

although

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media channels have a widespread reach, they may not always provide unbiased coverage.

Thus

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, travelling abroad is the most reliable means of gaining an in-depth understanding of the global population.

turanavdeepThu Jan 09 2025

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task response

Consider providing a balanced view by weighing the advantages and disadvantages equally to give a comprehensive discussion.

coherence cohesion

You could enhance cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and provides a concise thesis statement, setting a strong foundation for the essay.

relevant specific examples

The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of CNN and NBC, which effectively support your arguments and enhance the reader's understanding.

introduction conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and presents a clear opinion, reinforcing the main arguments discussed in the essay.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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