Should healthcare be funded totally by the government for everyone? Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is irrefutable that the government ought to cover totally all health treatments of
people
due to
inflation and expensive treatments,which are not affordable for all types of masses.A considerable amount of folks assert that they waste their precious time studying
history
.
However
,others have totally contradicted the above notion.
According to
my opinion,
history
is a significant subject for the community ,as it provides insight into knowledge about our ancient times,ritual,religion
as well as
civilization.
Hence
,it should be a mandatory course in the school curriculum. A prime reason why healthcare should be claimed by the government is that
people
of the country pay tax from their income either on a monthly or an annual basis and
also
individuals receive their salary after deducting all kinds of insurance,which inclines the country's economy.
Therefore
,there is no sense that individuals paying for their treatment .
In addition
,those who live below the poverty line,they do not afford their treatment after paying .
Hence
, the government should pay for their treatment so that they can lead their remaining lives without any stress. Some
people
assert that
history
plays a vital role in updating the individual's knowledge about their culture and their ancestors.Children can acquire an education about their civilization,which is necessary for making the connection of children with their past.
Furthermore
,it can
also
encourage the students to understand the development of the nation
as well as
humans.
For instance
,my parents are working and they do not have time to tell us our
history
of culture.
Then
our teacher provided us most essential knowledge about our customs,rituals,and civilisation after showing historical facts that assisted us in developing the habit of reading
history
.
Nevertheless
,some masses assert that
history
is not as significant as other subjects.
While
learning
history
,children do not create their own innovative ideas.
Also
,they get bored and struggle to learn about all the cultures of the country.To exemplify, India has a rich heritage and
people
do not have the capacity to learn about all religion's cultures and rituals.Sometimes,students fail in that subject,as they do not have the capacity to learn about the historical data of the nation.
Hence
,they get depressed and do not perform in their academics because of that subject.
To conclude
,
although
some folks tend to think that utilizing their schedule to study
history
is totally a waste of time,in my opinion,
history
is the most powerful course for contacting individuals with their roots and developing the ethics in
people
to live in a nation.
Submitted by kamalkaur.er on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses one clear central idea. This will make your argument more coherent and easy to follow. For example, you could separate the discussion of government-funded healthcare from the discussion on the importance of studying history.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Mentioning real-life examples or well-known studies can make your argument more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Work on syntactic variety. While your sentences are generally clear, try to vary your sentence structures more to make your writing more engaging.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the two different perspectives and states your opinion, which provides a good framework for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You effectively summarize your views in the conclusion, reiterating your main points and providing a clear closing statement.
complete response
The essay covers both views on the topic and makes a clear argument in support of your opinion, addressing the task requirements comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal access
  • health disparities
  • basic human right
  • public health outcomes
  • preventive care
  • early intervention
  • strain national budgets
  • increased taxes
  • private funding
  • competition
  • efficiency
  • cultural heritage
  • past mistakes
  • informed society
  • valuable lessons
  • societal norms
  • policy
  • subjective
  • biased
  • reliable
  • science and technology
  • practical
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • holistic education
  • well-rounded individuals
  • different perspectives
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