IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people change to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their health but also benefits the world as a wide. Discuss they view and give your own opinion

#people #change #meat #fish #health #world
A section of
people
 reckon that
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 vegetarian is not only good for our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 but
also
 for
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world. In my view, not eating
meat
 or
fish
 has loads of advantages than disadvantages.
Argumets
Correct your spelling
Arguments
 to crutch my notion will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. There are a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 benefits to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 vegetarian.
Plethora
Correct article usage
A Plethora
show examples
 of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 can be cited. First and foremost, Different diseases are increasing by leaps and bounds
due to
 eating of meats and
fish
.
Thus
,
people
 have
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 fear
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 no
vegetarians
Change the noun form
vegetarian
show examples
 foods.
For example
,
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world suffered a lot because of
Correct article usage
the corona
show examples
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
. We all know that virus came from eating
bat
Fix the agreement mistake
bats
show examples
. So,
people
 don't want to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their life
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 eating any
meat
 products.
Secondly
, extravagant use of red
meat
 can be
parious
Correct your spelling
various
 for any
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human being
.
Due to
 that
people
 will not only face cardiovascular disease but
also
 they can die from cancer.
Therefore
 reason,
people
 are avoiding
to eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
meat
, and they are
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 to vegetables.Ergo,
Therefore
 reason,
people
 want to make their body fit as
fiddle
Add an article
a fiddle
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 having fresh vegetables and lentils. Because they can get all the nutrients from flora.
Last
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, some
people
 don't eat
meat
 or
fish
due to
 their religion.
For instance
,
Gujarat
Change preposition
in Gujarat
show examples
 ( India) almost all the
people
 from
this
 place are not eating
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
. Because they believe that all the animals are related to their god and goddess.
Thus
, they have their sentimental value about
this
. Agglomarting all the points elaborated above it can be reiterated that, Not having
meat
 or
fish
 in our meals will be more helpful in many ways, like; health , religion and so on.
Submitted by faluprajapati257 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Introduce a clear thesis statement in the introduction to lay out your main argument.
relevant specific examples
Provide real-life examples or statistics to support your viewpoint more effectively.
logical structure
Use transitional phrases and connectors to ensure smooth flow between points and paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Maintain a formal tone and be careful with the repetition of words like 'reason' and 'therefore'.
logical structure
Refine sentence structures and avoid grammatical errors to increase clarity and coherence.
complete response
The essay includes multiple points of view and attempts to support them with reasons, which is positive for task response.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both present, helping frame the argument and wrap it up effectively.
supported main points
Some points are supported by examples, which strengthens the arguments made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!