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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should healthcare be funded totally by the government for everyone? Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#healthcare #government #people #history #waste #time
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I see both sides of the argument about government-funded
healthcare
. Some believe that
healthcare
 should be fully funded by the government to ensure that everyone has access to essential medical services without financial barriers.
On the other hand
, some argue that a completely government-funded system may lead to inefficiencies and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of innovation in
healthcare
. When it comes to studying history, there are differing opinions as well. Some people view history as crucial for understanding the present and making informed decisions for the future. On the flip side, others see it as less practical compared to other subjects that may directly relate to modern-day skills and job opportunities. In my view, a balance is key. Government involvement in
healthcare
 can help provide universal access, but a mix of public and private funding might encourage competition and innovation in the
healthcare
 sector.
Similarly
,
while
 history can offer valuable insights, a well-rounded education that includes various subjects can better prepare us for the complexities of the modern world.
Submitted by jamila94almoqbali on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This can make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. This helps provide a clear structure to your essay and guides the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points further. Elaborate on why a balance between government and private funding can encourage competition and innovation, or explain how history contributes to understanding the present. This can help clarify your ideas and make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both topics and presents a balanced view, which is essential for a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
The language is clear and the ideas are easy to understand, which aids in the overall readability of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal access
  • health disparities
  • basic human right
  • public health outcomes
  • preventive care
  • early intervention
  • strain national budgets
  • increased taxes
  • private funding
  • competition
  • efficiency
  • cultural heritage
  • past mistakes
  • informed society
  • valuable lessons
  • societal norms
  • policy
  • subjective
  • biased
  • reliable
  • science and technology
  • practical
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • holistic education
  • well-rounded individuals
  • different perspectives
What to do next:
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