IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

#people #meat
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In
this
 scientific world, one can smoothly fulfil the nutritious requirements of the body from plant plant-based diet. On the same note, some people find it ethically inappropriate to consume meat, and I strongly favour their viewpoint. Killing
animals
 for the sake of dietary requirements should not be supported. To explain, as the population is growing rapidly, the demand for meat products is likely to disturb the ecosystem which can
further
 lead to environmental disasters.
Thus
, for the well-being of our planet, Carnivore's behaviour must be condemned.
Moreover
, as suggested by studies when
animals
 get killed to suffice the supply chain their babies are likely to go through trauma or other mental challenges. I hereby
wants
Change the verb form
want
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 to raise a question ? Does our taste ha matter more than the life of these
animals
 and the answer is no.
Consequently
, to stop
this
 cruelty , we should emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
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acceptance of the vegetarian lifestyle
Furthermore
, the market for plant-based products has increased significantly in the
last
 couple of years which means without killing
animals
, one can tick all the boxes of required nutrients for the body.
consequently
, if one can have a smooth and healthy life without taking the life of others
then
 there is no need to be heartless. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it’s
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high time for society to shift to more Eco and environment-friendly options in order to support and save our ecosystem
Submitted by singhrajpreet147 on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas logically flow from one to the next. This will provide better coherence.
task achievement
While you provide a strong opinion, include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Avoid rhetorical questions and ensure all sentences contribute to your argument. This can help keep your essay focused and relevant.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You provide a thorough response to the prompt, covering ethical, environmental, and health perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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