Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #punishment #measures

It is true that most criminals continue doing illegal activities after being in jail for a long time period . There are various reasons behind

this

phenomenon and some steps can be taken by the local authorities to solve

this

issue . There are many causes why sinners don't stop committing crimes . The first and foremost reason is that some offenders usually don't have any other skill which they can use to work hard for their families so they decide to be in the same profession after some time in jail .

Moreover

, the main reason is Poverty , nowadays everything is getting expensive and survival is not possible without money and there are no job opportunities for the lawbreakers .

As a result

, they involve themselves in offences for the rest of their lives . The government can take some actions to solve

this

issue .

Firstly

they could provide some free education in the jail for sinners so they can learn something and use that thing in the future to get success.

Furthermore

, national leaders must provide some jobs to them so they can easily earn money to make their families happy .

This

will be definitely helpful in stopping

this

in future . In conclusion ,

Although

there are many reasons which make criminals do

this

kind of thing, the government can stop

this

by providing job opportunities to the violators

Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task achievement

You should work on providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention types of education or skills that could be beneficial for offenders.

task achievement

Try to elaborate on your ideas a bit more to make them clearer and more comprehensive. This will improve the depth of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure can be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will make the essay flow better.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of ideas and ensure to vary your vocabulary to make the essay more engaging.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt quite well, discussing both reasons and solutions for the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation programs
economic hardship
employment opportunities
social stigma
discrimination
psychological issues
mental health problems
substance abuse
negative peer influence
incarceration
offenders
ex-convicts
recidivist
penal system
preventative measures
re-offend
criminal justice system
reintegration strategies

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Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Many employers find that their new employees lack sufficient interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Machines and robots are increasingly replacing workers in a number of industries . Do the aadvantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

the number of arrests per year for using illegal drugs between 1991 to 2005.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.