Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #punishment #measures

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It is true that most criminals continue doing illegal activities after being in jail for a long time period . There are various reasons behind

this

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phenomenon and some steps can be taken by the local authorities to solve

this

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issue . There are many causes why sinners don't stop committing crimes . The first and foremost reason is that some offenders usually don't have any other skill which they can use to work hard for their families so they decide to be in the same profession after some time in jail .

Moreover

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, the main reason is Poverty , nowadays everything is getting expensive and survival is not possible without money and there are no job opportunities for the lawbreakers .

As a result

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, they involve themselves in offences for the rest of their lives . The government can take some actions to solve

this

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issue .

Firstly

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they could provide some free education in the jail for sinners so they can learn something and use that thing in the future to get success.

Furthermore

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, national leaders must provide some jobs to them so they can easily earn money to make their families happy .

This

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will be definitely helpful in stopping

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in future . In conclusion ,

Although

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there are many reasons which make criminals do

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kind of thing, the government can stop

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by providing job opportunities to the violators

Submitted by jass.sekhon4693 on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task achievement

You should work on providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention types of education or skills that could be beneficial for offenders.

task achievement

Try to elaborate on your ideas a bit more to make them clearer and more comprehensive. This will improve the depth of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure can be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will make the essay flow better.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of ideas and ensure to vary your vocabulary to make the essay more engaging.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt quite well, discussing both reasons and solutions for the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation programs
economic hardship
employment opportunities
social stigma
discrimination
psychological issues
mental health problems
substance abuse
negative peer influence
incarceration
offenders
ex-convicts
recidivist
penal system
preventative measures
re-offend
criminal justice system
reintegration strategies

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Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to a friend to ask him/her to develop a website for your business. •In your letter: Give a brief description of the business •Mention what you’d like to be there on the website. •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

People are working for long hours than before, this leads to a stressful life ahead. what are the reasons for it? what employers can do to handle the situation?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays the crime rate is increasing, especially among teenagers. what are the reasons behind it? how can we reverse this trend? what punishment methods should be used, in your opinion?