Social media is popular and used by many people. However, some people think that social media can be bad for mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The social
networks
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is known and loved by many
people
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. The social
networks
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have positive effect to lives of same
people
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and some
people
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have negative effect on lives. In my opinion everybody uses social
networks
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differently. Social
networks
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makes it easier our lives. We make contact with our familiars, family members and our friends. We learn new news from social
networks
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and follow world events.
Also
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, businessmen can grow their business with social
networks
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.
People
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also
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can shopping through social network.
For example
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: “ Trendyol” “Temu” “Alibaba” “Hepsiburada” etc. If you look deeper, we see that social
networks
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have negative effects to our life.
For example
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:
People
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are wasting their time, students and pupils are weak in their lessons. Sometimes
people
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believe fake announcements, advertisings and
people
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are deceived.
Also
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, unethical videos on social
networks
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have negative impact
people
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's mental health In the end we decided that, social network have negative and positive skills. The
people
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should try to use positive side of social
networks
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.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more sophisticated and nuanced structure that includes clear topic sentences and logical progression between ideas in each paragraph.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples and evidence that support your points. For example, mention specific studies or statistics that show the effects of social media on mental health.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic proficiency and make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Both positive and negative aspects of social media are addressed, showing a balanced viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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