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Writing Samples /
Band 4

A close relative of yours is having a birthday lunch next week, but you know you will be working Write a letter to you boss or supervisor to ask for some time off . In your letter, -explain the situation and why you particularly want to attend the lunch -specify the dates , times and amount of time off you will need -offer to work late or come in early another time to make up for the time

#close #birthday #lunch #week #boss #supervisor #time #-explain #situation #-specify #dates #times #amount #-offer #work
Dear boss I am writing to request you to give me one day for my
brothers
Change noun form
brother's
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 birthday
Initially
 , I am going to book a table
on
Change preposition
in
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restaurant
Correct article usage
a restaurant
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 and I will call my relatives. I know one of the best
chef
Change to a plural noun
chefs
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the restaurant. His name is
john
Capitalize word
John
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. I will meet with him on
friday
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Friday
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. On
saturday
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Saturday
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, my brotherʼs birthday . I have a lot of ideas to spend my brotherʼs birthday.
However
 , I havenʼt
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
choose
gift
Correct article usage
a gift
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 yet. I want to buy him
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
the expensive
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 car for his
birhday
Correct your spelling
birthday
. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
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he always
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work on foot. When he
cames
Correct your spelling
came
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 to
restaurant
Add an article
the restaurant
a restaurant
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,
Correct article usage
the violonist
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violonist
Correct your spelling
violinist
 wait him
with playing
Change preposition
to play
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music. So that you will allow me and give me 1
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 dollar . On another day I will work early.
For example
 on
sunday
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Sunday
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. His
birhday
Correct your spelling
birthday
is very important
for
Change preposition
to
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 me. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 you understand me .
This
 month
i
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I
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 will work hard and I will pay back my debt. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 faithfully Milad
rahimi
Change the capitalization
Rahimi
show examples
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by clearly organizing your letter into distinct paragraphs. Separate the explanation of the situation, the specific request for time off, and the offer to compensate.
task achievement
Ensure a formal and respectful tone throughout the letter. Avoid making unrealistic or inappropriate requests, such as asking for a large sum of money in this context.
task achievement
Provide specific dates and times for the requested time off to make your request clearer.
task achievement
The writer shows a strong desire to attend their brother's birthday, which adds a personal touch to the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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