IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful. At persuading used to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

#people #attention
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People usually believe that advertisements
is
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are
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 significantly effective in promoting
purchase
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purchases
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 among consumers
while
 others say it is not so important to pay any attention. To
certain
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a certain
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extent
Add a comma
extent,
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 I agree that advertising stuff
are
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is
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 really annoying with its sudden interruption. On one hand, marketing companies believe that it plays
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in influencing consumer tastes or options. Effective advertising company leads to programme people to buy their product
,
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apply
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 than the other one.
For instance
, Procter and Gamble, the biggest soap shop company,has lots of sorts of washing powder. It advertises them in various ways, what
is
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are
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more
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more,
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 buyers have
choice
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a choice
the choice
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 which appropriate for them.
On the other hand
,humans are
anoying
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annoying
 with
the
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apply
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commercials,
while
 they're doing something like reading, working, studying,
watching
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or watching
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 a film, with its sudden disturbance. They want to concentrate on their
particularly
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particular
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 job. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result, many people even download
the
Correct article usage
apply
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apps with
Add an article
an option
the option
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option
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options
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where
Correct word choice
that
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 can be able
block
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to block
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 the
add
Correct your spelling
ad
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. In conclusion, advertising still holds great power to
effect
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affect
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on
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apply
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consumers
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consumers'
consumer's
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 choices.
However
, the tendency for its declining impact as
repetitive
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a repetitive
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 appearance on the screen can interrupt users from focusing on their work.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Your essay does address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view. However, try to elaborate more on each point to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response. For example, explain more deeply how advertising influences consumer choices and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow, it can be improved by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words or phrases will help your essay to be more cohesive. Also, aim to group related ideas together in paragraphs, avoiding abrupt shifts.
It is important to pay attention to grammar and word choice to make your writing clearer. For instance,

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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