Detailed description of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#description #crimes #newspaper #tv #consequences #society #information #media

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Some

people

think detailed descriptions of crimes in

newspapers

and TV can affect society badly, and they have to be restricted.

While

others want to see a detailed description of crimes, no matter what,

this

essay will discuss why

this

is the case and the reasons why I agree with

this

statement. First of all, I believe that

newspapers

and television have a huge effect on

people

. Senseful

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

this

platform

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

able to affect everyone, from newborns to old

people

. It is not obvious, but our brains start to act differently after receiving

this

type of content. Even if there is an age limit, not everyone sticks to it. There are lots of

kids

and grandparents watching them, no matter if they are with their family or alone.

For example

, most families with

kids

don't switch the channel when some over-18 crime video pops out

while

watching

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

because they want to know. The only thing they can do is stop watching

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

with

kids

, and

that is

not a practical solution. That's why television has to stop showing

this

kind of news.

Secondly

newspapers

are

also

very important.

In other words

, most of the old

people

buy

newspapers

, and like

kids

, they are

also

sensible.

For instance

, I know an old woman who became paranoid after watching videos of war in other countries. Even though it is not an important thing for her or her country, she couldn't stop empathizing.

Thus

, it might affect everyone; not only old

people

but

also

kids

can buy

newspapers

To conclude

, I strongly agree with

this

statement. A detailed description of crimes shouldn't be

Change preposition

show examples

both the newspaper and TV; they affect society in a bad way by giving them extra information.

Submitted by enver07600 on Mon Aug 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider making smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensuring the essay flows logically from one idea to the next.

task achievement

While your task response is strong, ensuring that your examples are highly relevant and specific can make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

To further enhance your writing, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt and maintains focus on the topic throughout.

task achievement

The introduction accurately sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.

coherence cohesion

The main points presented are relevant and logical, contributing to the overall coherence.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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