IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: describe the vacation spot you have chosen explain how you plan to spend your time there invite your friend to join you on your vacation.

#vacation #friend #spot #plan #time
Dear my friend. How's it going? Hope you're doing well. I'm writing
this
 letter because I am planning to go somewhere to spend the summer holidays. You know very well, mostly I like hilly areas. One thing is that snow is coming, so decided to go to Chimgan, where we can enjoy everything. We will stay in a Magic Hotel because they provide all types of facilities
as well as
 it is luxury.
Moreover
, there are numerous places where we can go and enjoy together.
For example
: temples and parks, and we can go to restaurants to eat special things. We will stay there for five days. I invite you to join me because I know you
also
 like to travel a lot and want to explore new places. I will be waiting for your response so that I can book tickets. Yours sincerely, Jasmine
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Task Achievement
Task Response: Ensure that each point from the prompt is addressed thoroughly. While you have included all necessary elements, expanding on the details of how you plan to spend your time could enhance engagement and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: While your letter is generally well-structured, improving transitions between ideas can make your writing flow more smoothly. Consider using varied connecting words and phrases to link your sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For a more suitable writing tone, you might consider using a more informal, friendly tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'Dear my friend' could be replaced with 'Dear [Friend's name],' for a more personal touch.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking scenery
  • cultural landmarks
  • itinerary
  • accommodations
  • excursions
  • gastronomic delights
  • leisure activities
  • unwind and relax
  • off the beaten track
  • once-in-a-lifetime experience
  • picturesque
  • explore
  • local cuisine
  • adventure
  • bonding
  • create memories
  • companionship
  • escapade
  • serenity
  • revitalize
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