The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010.

#data #earnings #three #bakeries #calgary

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The line

graph

illustrates the information about the yearly income of three bakeries in Calgary (Amandine Bakery, Mari Bakeshop and Bolo Cakery),

since

Change preposition

from

show examples

2000-

2010

Change preposition

to 2010

show examples

, by presenting in

dollars

Overall

, Bolo Cakery has increased

trend

, rising to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

higher

rank

at the end

While

Mari Bakeshop has decreased

trend

, felling to the lowest

rank

. It is clearly noticeable that Amandine Bakery has remained stable

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

before significantly

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

to the peak of the

graph

. Focus on

blue

Add an article

the blue

show examples

line, Mari

Bakershop

Correct your spelling

Bakeshop

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

the greatest amount of income in 2000 at around 80000

dollars

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to others. After that, the

trend

blue

Correct article usage

the blue

show examples

graph

become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

fluctuated and dramatically decreased to the smallest rate (40000

dollars

)

at the end

of the period. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, the income of Amandine

Bekery

Correct your spelling

Bakery

and Bolo Cakery has

similar

Add an article

a similar

show examples

rising

trend

. In

2000s

Change the article

the 2000s

show examples

yellow

Add an article

the yellow

a yellow

show examples

line started at the lowest point (2000

dollars

) before gradually

went

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

up to the second

rank

Moreover

, there was a stable

trend

in the green

graph

Then

, it significantly climbed to the top

rank

2010s

Change the article

the 2010s

show examples

Submitted by dondollaraus on Mon Aug 12 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, dollars, trend, rank with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

172 words

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The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010.

People are using a lot of online language translation apps. Do the bene fits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

In future all cars will be driverless cars, in your opinion are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some children spend a long time each day on their smartphones. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?