IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

look at the two maps of a beach hotel at different times and summerize the key changes

#two #maps #beach #hotel #times #summerize #changes
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The maps illustrate changes in a beach
hotel
Use synonyms
 between 2003 and 2013. As it is observed, some significant alterations occurred during a 10-year period. Compared to its older version, the
hotel
Use synonyms
 became more recreational over 10 years. As can be seen, the restaurant was relocated to the right side of the area, allocating its previous location to a larger and more modern swimming pool surrounded by palm trees.
In addition
Linking Words
, the facilities of
this
Linking Words
hotel
Use synonyms
 have improved noticeably. More seating spots were added to the 2013 version.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, a water sports site was
also
Linking Words
 constructed on the right side close to the beach. What is clearly evident is that the number of
hotel
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 rooms has increased since 2003, making
this
Linking Words
hotel
Use synonyms
 more spacious in terms of accommodation. All in all, the various changes in
this
Linking Words
 establishment show a great improvement in all aspects towards being more recreational and facilitated during these 10 years.
Submitted by basri.fateme on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points of interest on the map, such as any additional amenities or landscape changes, are clearly mentioned to show comprehensive coverage of the changes in the essay. This will further solidify the task response.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will make the essay flow even better and create a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider including a brief comparison or contrasting phrase to show the direct link between the old and new features. This will give the reader a clear sense of the changes.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which frames the changes well.
task achievement
The main points are supported with specific examples from the maps, making the essay informative and detailed.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure is logical and easy to follow, allowing the reader to understand the developments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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