IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that advertising manipulates consumers into buying unnecessary products. Discuss the reasons why advertising can be so powerful and what measures can be taken to protect consumers.

#people #consumers #products #measures
It is believed by a section of society that
advertisements
 do influence customers towards purchasing non-essential items. The reasons why
advertisements
 are rather potent are research and limited-time offers
whereas
this
 trend can be tackled by making
people
 aware of tactics used and constructing a regulatory department for it.
This
 essay will delve deeper into these causes and measures in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are multifarious reasons why some
people
 assert that
advertisements
 are powerful enough to make consumers buy unnecessary products. Foremost, since the production of
ads
 contains many steps, research and surveys are the most considerable ones.
This
 is because before finalizing a market plan, consumers’ emotional and behavioural factors have been noted so that experts can target these in their
ads
.
For example
, the marketing of hair products mostly contains a fear factor of losing confidence, which makes
people
 use any kind of product without considering its worth.
Hence
, ultimately they may face the dire consequences of these
as well as
 waste a hefty amount of their hard-earned money.
In addition
, companies mostly publish time-bound offers with huge discounts in order to lower the thought process of customers to make wise decisions about whether they require the product or not.
Nevertheless
,
such
 a phenomenon can be handled well by responding appropriately. Primarily, the very first measure can be making aware of
people
 the techniques used in
ads
 to influence them. The UK government,
for example
, initiated media literacy programs in March 2022; owing to which they educate
people
 on how to recognize the false and enticing methods used in marketing. Surprisingly, 2 out of 10 customers started showing responsible behaviour
while
 shopping in the same year.
Moreover
, a regulatory board can be another method to reduce the power of publicity. If there is the existence of a legal body with fines and taxes, companies may put off their needless offers and time limits on buying.
Thus
, it will be eventually beneficial for consumers to be wise.
To conclude
,
although
advertisements
 can coerce buyers to buy needless products, adequate measures can reduce the impact of appealing
ads
as well as
 protect the decision-making of consumers.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task and addresses both causes and measures effectively. Ensure that all points are directly related to the question and fully developed with examples.
task achievement
Focus on further developing and enhancing your main points for clearer comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your topic sentences more explicit to improve the logical structure.
coherence cohesion
While the overall structure is clear, ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one and uses transition words effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a clear roadmap and summary for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making your arguments persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a logical structure, with each paragraph following a clear flow from one idea to the next.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task thoroughly, discussing reasons why advertising is powerful and measures to protect consumers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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