Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disaster like earthquakes and floods. Governments should concentrate their resources on educating people about their risks they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this.
#attention #disaster #earthquakes #floods #governments #resources #people #risks #face #home #cost #lives
It is undeniable that a headline-grabbing disaster
such
as earthquakes and floods is paramount for governments across the globe. Some people
claim that this
issue is exaggerated and there is more important educating
Change the verb form
to educate
people
about other tragedies which have more victims. Personally, although
I do not refuse this
option, meanwhile, I believe two sides are vital for protecting lives.
On the one hand, natural catastrophes like tsunamis, floods and earthquakes happend
unexpectedly. Correct your spelling
happen
happened
Though
modern technology and Correct your spelling
Through
developtions
in natural Correct your spelling
developing
sceinces
, disasters can be not predicted and Correct your spelling
sciences
this
situation cause a lot of citizens' lives that the governments forced
to allow a great amount of the budget for building Add a missing verb
are forced
Add an article
a place
place
to Fix the agreement mistake
places
accommodete
temporally and hospitalisation of victims in Correct your spelling
accommodate
short
term and Correct article usage
the short
reconstractions
in long term. Correct your spelling
reconstructions
reconstruction
Thus
, it is obvious that natural catastrophes are Correct article usage
a crutial
crutial
problem despite they Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
happend
occasionally.
On Correct your spelling
happened
happen
the
Remove the article
apply
another
hand, there are more heavy tragedies Correct quantifier usage
other
such
as traffic accidence
, Correct your spelling
accidents
Correct word choice
and infectional
infectional
illnesses which are caused by Correct your spelling
infectious
human's
Change noun form
human
ignorence
or irresponsibility. Authorities need to allow more resources Correct your spelling
ignorance
on educating
Change preposition
to educate
people
about these man-made catastrophes. For instance
, more people
are not aware of some infectional
diseases like HIV, Correct your spelling
infection
inflectional
infections
Correct word choice
and hepatites
hepatites
, with which factors Correct your spelling
hepatitis
contominate
and Correct your spelling
contaminate
contaminated
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
results
death. Add the preposition
results in
results from
Moreover
, victims of traffic crimes such
as drunken driving, speeding
Correct word choice
and speeding
has
been Correct subject-verb agreement
have
increasingly
Change the word
increasing
more
.
In conclusion, Correct quantifier usage
apply
while
natural disasters that lead to a gigant
number of Correct your spelling
gigantic
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
undeniable
important for governments, it is equally crucial to acknowledge the vital role of man-made tragedies which can Change the word
undeniably
be tackle
with education among reasons of death in Change the verb form
be tackled
modern
world. Add an article
the modern
Therefore
, a balaced
approach that Correct your spelling
balanced
appriciates
the significance of both aspects is the key to Correct your spelling
appreciates
fosterin
holistic development and maximising Correct your spelling
fostering
foster
future
safe community.Correct article usage
a future
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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the prompt but could use more specific examples and details to fully support the arguments. For instance, in discussing natural disasters, providing specific statistics or citing recent events could add weight to your argument.
task achievement
There are several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that slightly detract from readability. Take care to proofread and edit carefully. For example, words like 'developtions' should be 'developments' and 'sceinces' should be 'sciences'.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is present, but some sentences need more clarity. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is logically developed. The transitions between the points could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are reasonably effective, but the conclusion could be more strongly tied back to the arguments presented. This will make your closing statement more impactful.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging both sides of the argument which is a strong point in addressing the prompt comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay, helping the reader understand your overall stance.