IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contract between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People hold different
veiws
Correct your spelling
views
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 international
contracts
Use synonyms
 give profit to
native
Correct article usage
the native
show examples
 population or not. Some people claim that international
contracts
Use synonyms
 bring
numarous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 benefits in many terms,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 respond that there are more drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 multicultural trade. Personally,
while
Linking Words
 I do not refuse cross-border trade
has
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 multifold positiveness,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 I accept
this
Linking Words
 trend
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
losing
Verb problem
a loss of
show examples
 national identities. On the one hand, there have been increasingly more
contracts
Use synonyms
 between countries that bring great economic spike.
For instance
Linking Words
, international tourism is one of
most
Add an article
the most
a most
show examples
 beneficial
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 numerous opportunities in
labour
Add an article
the labour
show examples
 market across a local community.
Also
Linking Words
, visitors give foreign currency which
is play
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 a crucial role in economic stability for especially, developing countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, famous
gigants
Correct your spelling
giants
giant
 in the world of fashion like Adidas,
Chanel
Correct word choice
and Chanel
show examples
 find cheap labour force in
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
 world
particullarly
Correct your spelling
particularly
,
Bangladesh
Rephrase
particularly Bangladesh
show examples
,
Pakistan
Correct word choice
and Pakistan
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, many students
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 poor nations can study abroad and have chances to change
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lives permanently and give profit to their
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
 in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, cross-board
contracts
Use synonyms
 are resulting to reduce
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 differences between diverse cultures and
popped
Wrong verb form
popping
show examples
 up one
homogen
Correct your spelling
homogenous
 society.
For example
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,
todays'
Change noun form
today's
show examples
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 should
be know
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 English
as well as
Linking Words
 their first language
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to the integration of different words from English
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 language.
Moreover
Linking Words
, young gander wear, behaviour
mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 across the globe. From the other
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend will continue unless international trade
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
 the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
that it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is inevitable. In conclusion, multicultural connections have mentioned benefits, despite
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 homogen society that
demolish
Change the verb form
demolishes
show examples
 native cultures
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend is unavoidable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a balanced approach that
appriciates
Correct your spelling
appreciates
 the beneficial aspects is the key
tofostering
Correct your spelling
to fostering
 holistic development and maximising future success.

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Grammar and Vocabulary
Work on refining grammar and vocabulary to reduce errors, thereby improving the clarity and accuracy of your essay. Common issues include misspellings and incorrect word forms, such as 'veiws' instead of 'views,' 'positiveness' instead of 'positive aspects,' and 'gigants' instead of 'giants.'
Development of Ideas
Develop your points more comprehensively, particularly when discussing the drawbacks. Include specific examples to support your arguments more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your arguments and ensure your paragraphs flow logically. Work on the transitions between points to improve the overall coherence. This can be done by using connecting phrases and avoiding abrupt shifts in topics.
Structure
The essay contains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader to follow your arguments more easily.
Balance
You have made a balanced attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which strengthens your task response.
Examples
The essay presents some relevant examples, which add to the overall argument, such as the mention of international tourism and global fashion brands.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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