Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contract between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People hold different
veiws
Correct your spelling
views
whether
international Change preposition
on whether
contracts
give profit to native
population or not. Some people claim that international Correct article usage
the native
contracts
bring numarous
benefits in many terms, Correct your spelling
numerous
others
respond that there are more drawbacks Correct word choice
while others
in
multicultural trade. Personally, Change preposition
to
while
I do not refuse cross-border trade has
multifold positiveness, Correct your spelling
as
meanwhile
I accept Add a comma
meanwhile,
this
trend cause
Replace the word
causes
losing
national identities.
On the one hand, there have been increasingly more Verb problem
a loss of
contracts
between countries that bring great economic spike. For instance
, international tourism is one of most
beneficial Add an article
the most
a most
field
which Fix the agreement mistake
fields
provide
numerous opportunities in Change the verb form
provides
labour
market across a local community. Add an article
the labour
Also
, visitors give foreign currency which is play
a crucial role in economic stability for especially, developing countries. Wrong verb form
plays
On the other hand
, famous gigants
in the world of fashion like Adidas, Correct your spelling
giants
giant
Chanel
find cheap labour force in Correct word choice
and Chanel
third
world Correct article usage
the third
particullarly
, Correct your spelling
particularly
Bangladesh
, Rephrase
particularly Bangladesh
Pakistan
. Correct word choice
and Pakistan
In addition
, many students form
poor nations can study abroad and have chances to change Correct your spelling
from
thier
lives permanently and give profit to their Correct your spelling
their
counties
in Correct your spelling
countries
long
term.
Correct article usage
the long
Nevertheless
, cross-board contracts
are resulting to reduce gradually
differences between diverse cultures and Change the word
gradual
popped
up one Wrong verb form
popping
homogen
society. Correct your spelling
homogenous
For example
, todays'
Change noun form
today's
youngs
should Correct your spelling
young
be know
English Change the verb form
know
as well as
their first language that
Correct pronoun usage
which
lead
to the integration of different words from English Change the verb form
leads
to
Change preposition
into
local
language. Correct article usage
the local
Moreover
, young gander wear, behaviour mostly
Add a missing verb
is mostly
same
across the globe. From the other Correct article usage
the same
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
this
trend will continue unless international trade by
the Change preposition
via
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
that it
is inevitable.
In conclusion, multicultural connections have mentioned benefits, despite Correct pronoun usage
apply
cause
homogen society that Wrong verb form
causing
demolish
native cultures Change the verb form
demolishes
that
Correct word choice
and
this
trend is unavoidable. Therefore
, a balanced approach that appriciates
the beneficial aspects is the key Correct your spelling
appreciates
tofostering
holistic development and maximising future success.Correct your spelling
to fostering
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Work on refining grammar and vocabulary to reduce errors, thereby improving the clarity and accuracy of your essay. Common issues include misspellings and incorrect word forms, such as 'veiws' instead of 'views,' 'positiveness' instead of 'positive aspects,' and 'gigants' instead of 'giants.'
Development of Ideas
Develop your points more comprehensively, particularly when discussing the drawbacks. Include specific examples to support your arguments more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your arguments and ensure your paragraphs flow logically. Work on the transitions between points to improve the overall coherence. This can be done by using connecting phrases and avoiding abrupt shifts in topics.
Structure
The essay contains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader to follow your arguments more easily.
Balance
You have made a balanced attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which strengthens your task response.
Examples
The essay presents some relevant examples, which add to the overall argument, such as the mention of international tourism and global fashion brands.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.