It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parent and teacher be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
Some people believe that punishing
kids
is compulsory to be done by parents and teachers as it would help children
to distinguish between right and wrong in the near future. In my opinion, this
statement is totally wrong. But, somewhat of this
action can be taken in some situations.
To begin
, it has been observed that some of these punishments have resulted in major hurdles for students. Putting undue pressure on children
and abandoning them can lead kids
to start hating the people who care about them. This
would ruin their relationship which would make children
not obey their parents. So even in their crisis, these adults cannot assist them and this
would facilitate their path of making the wrong decision. For example
, there are many young pupils who start smoking very early and as their parents do not have any control over them, their advice would not make any difference for these kids
and they would continue smoking. This
is why I think that guardians must avoid this
.
On the other hand
, if someone wants to punish a child, they should carefully consider how it would affect the kid. It must be questioned whether is this
act going to mitigate the problems of the student or not. While
there are many methods of punishment, I think the worst one is humiliation. If teachers try to make a joke out of a student, it would lead them to lose their confidence which is very difficult to repair. This
is why I think the best method of punishment is to respectively, first,
make them aware of their mistakes. Second,
forcing them to do some activities which bring pros to them. Like studying or jogging. In this
way, they are both improving in skills and learning some lessons from their mistakes at the same time.
In conclusion, I think this
action has a high chance of causing further
issues for children
. However
, if it must be done, it should be without any mocking and the punishment itself should help the development of kids
.Submitted by amir.lajevardi84 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided a clear opinion, which is great. However, ensure that each point is well-supported with clear examples and reasoning. Consider elaborating on your points a bit more to fully explain your stance.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure and flows quite well, it could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Making better use of linking words and phrases would enhance the coherence. Additionally, make sure your arguments are clearly connected to one another to improve overall cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and reinforces your opinion, which is an important element of a successful essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage for your argument and clearly states your stance, which is well done.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!