The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

#position #women #society #twenty #years #people #delinquency #fact #work #home #care #children #option

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Internationally

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

position

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

significantly changed in the

last

Linking Words

two decades,

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

has boosted the world

ecomony

Correct your spelling

economy

quite a bit,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

change

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

caused

direct

Add an article

a direct

show examples

impact on

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

personal growth resulting in juvenile

deliquency

Correct your spelling

delinquency

and other

such

Linking Words

problems. I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as the

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

position in a family has changed, I believe

men

Use synonyms

should understand the change

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

family dynamic and support

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

in other ways than financially.

This

Linking Words

essay will describe

this

Linking Words

change with reasoned examples.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

have empowered and made their position in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society by standing up for themselves a positive side of

this

Linking Words

, working

women

Use synonyms

and

men

Use synonyms

made a family financially stable and allowed a family to grow simultaneously.

For instance

Linking Words

, comparing one person with two has revealed, financial stability,

Correct word choice

and provide

show examples

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

opportunity

Add an article

an opportunity

the opportunity

show examples

for other family members to make stronger bonds with

children

Use synonyms

. Showing the fact there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

multiple benefits of

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

empowerment.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development has

also

Linking Words

surfaced the fact that empowering and working

women

Use synonyms

has left

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

personal development affected, resulting in

children

Use synonyms

facing

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

such

Linking Words

as juvenile delinquency. To counter

this

Linking Words

issue

men

Use synonyms

could step up and support

thier

Correct your spelling

their

family,

this

Linking Words

opportunity could allow

men

Use synonyms

to make a stronger bond with their

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, on the one hand, empowering

women

Use synonyms

is beneficial for both family and society,

While

Linking Words

on the other,

This

Linking Words

development leaves

children

Use synonyms

with their affected personal growth.

Although

Linking Words

there are multiple

solution

Change to a plural noun

solutions

show examples

to overcome

this

Linking Words

issue

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

the most affected one is for

men

Use synonyms

to step up and support their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

Submitted by nick on Tue Aug 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task reasonably well, but there is room to expand on some points to offer a more comprehensive response. Try to include more nuanced perspectives and additional specific examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but some ideas could be better linked. Work on using transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

While your main points are relevant, they would benefit from further development. Providing more detailed explanations and specific examples will make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

juvenile delinquency
cultural shift
traditional family dynamics
socio-economic conditions
peer pressure
media exposure
educational environments
maternal employment
financial stability
role modeling
flexible working hours
remote work options
supportive parenting structures
community programs
extracurricular activities
gender roles

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays, most people consider that the pupils need to some subjective science topic so that they should learn it and they have to pass their exam. The school only provide to this experience that's why if they want acquire some talent such as cooking, dressmaking or art subject then they should learn from their parent or relatives. However, on the other hand some people think about this sitiation is not correct because school should be educational roof and tutors must teach about nut only science topics but also they should teach some skills how can they do. This essay sugggests that the second view is closest to the truth but other side is not to be ignored. The discussion follows below.
<4
band
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many community believe that the government should spend money on railways rather than roads. I differ with this contention completely for some reasons. My position is argued further with the explanation.
7
band
Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.
Ideas diverge about whether the government make education free for everyone or receive fees from university students. This essay will discuss both ideas with detailed explanations for each view.
8
band
Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The issue of whether the expense of improving technology for space exploration is justified has been a subject of debate. While some argue that humans should use that money for earthly needs. I firmly believe that the benefits of space exploration justify the investment, although a balanced approach is crucial.
7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays，the most significant aim of science is improving people‘s lives.I agree with such a view.

Fully explain your ideas

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.