The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
#position #women #society #twenty #years #people #delinquency #fact #work #home #care #children #option
Internationally
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
position Change noun form
women's
have
significantly changed in the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
last
two decades, although
this
has boosted the world ecomony
quite a bit, Correct your spelling
economy
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
this
change have
caused Change the verb form
has
direct
impact on Add an article
a direct
children
personal growth resulting in juvenile Change noun form
children's
deliquency
and other Correct your spelling
delinquency
such
problems. I partly agree with this
statement as the women
position in a family has changed, I believe Change noun form
women's
men
should understand the change the
family dynamic and support Change preposition
in the
family
in other ways than financially. Correct article usage
the family
This
essay will describe this
change with reasoned examples.
To begin
with, womens
have empowered and made their position in Correct your spelling
women
the
society by standing up for themselves a positive side of Correct article usage
apply
this
, working women
and men
made a family financially stable and allowed a family to grow simultaneously. For instance
, comparing one person with two has revealed, financial stability, Correct word choice
and provide
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
opportunity
for other family members to make stronger bonds with Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
children
. Showing the fact there is
multiple benefits of Change the verb form
are
women
empowerment.
Change noun form
women's
However
, this
development has also
surfaced the fact that empowering and working women
has left children
personal development affected, resulting in Change noun form
children's
children
facing issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
such
as juvenile delinquency. To counter this
issue men
could step up and support thier
family, Correct your spelling
their
this
opportunity could allow men
to make a stronger bond with their children
.
In conclusion, on the one hand, empowering women
is beneficial for both family and society, While
on the other, This
development leaves children
with their affected personal growth. Although
there are multiple solution
to overcome Change to a plural noun
solutions
this
issue but
the most affected one is for Remove the conjunction
apply
men
to step up and support their family
,Fix the agreement mistake
families
Submitted by nick
on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task reasonably well, but there is room to expand on some points to offer a more comprehensive response. Try to include more nuanced perspectives and additional specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but some ideas could be better linked. Work on using transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are relevant, they would benefit from further development. Providing more detailed explanations and specific examples will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.