Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion
View1: appropriate recognition
view2:
sports
do not provide necessary services.
opinion: view 2: sportsperson can earn money
from advertisement.
Some people assume that it is fully justified for successful professional sports
to make more money
than other essential occupations. The writer of this
essay believes that even though paying a wealth of money
to sports
players
is necessary due to
the appropriate recognition, these players
do not provide indispensable services such
as doctors or teachers, and sportspersons can earn money
from advertisements
.
It must be understood that sports
icons deserve to be high-salary. To put it simply, in order to become successful sports
players
, they have to spend plenty of time practicing, face to the risks of injuries, dedicate their strength to spectacular matches, therefore
good salary is the suitable remuneration for them. Take Cristiano Ronaldo for instance
, before being famous, he experienced hours of practice every day, different diets, etc. thus
he is worthy for a great deal money
because of his efforts.
However
, these individuals do not create vital values for society
as other jobs. This
is because sports
just satisfy the spectators on entertaining aspects, whereas
many other occupations which are associated with healthcare, and education, prove their essential role to the society
by continuously providing high standard service. As a result
, it is unfair for people who create indispensable services for society
when they receive far less money
than sports
icons.
In my opinion, sportspersons should not have good pay because they can earn more from advertisements
. In other words
, if these players
become celebrities, they will have more opportunities to take part in advertising for any products by being invited by famous labels. Based on this
trend, these sports
players
can popularize many products and have a great deal from manufacturers. As a result
, almost all football players
earn money
from advertisements
, and it becomes the main revenue of them.
In conclusion, despite high salary is the essential remuneration for sports
icons because of their dedication, it is unfair for some other important jobs because these players
do not provide indispensable values for society
and they can earn more money
from advertisements
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
To improve Task Response, ensure you provide more specific examples or evidence for your arguments. Consider including references to additional sports personalities or data that shows their earnings compared to essential professions.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on developing smoother transitions between your points. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your arguments were generally clear and comprehensible, and you addressed both views effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.