Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #video #computer #games #children #beleve #effects #child #development

There is no doubt that electric devices are essential items in today's world.

Although

some people suggest that it is useful for children to spend time on television, video and

computer

games, others assert that these are drawbacks to using them.

This

essay will explain both opinions and why I support the latter idea.

To begin

with the one hand, some people believe that television is one of the valuable ways to teach. There are numerous TV programs related to Japanese history. Research recently conducted by the Ministry of Education in Japan discovered that 80% of historical teachers use TV programs in their classes. Via watching these movies,

students

can not only enjoy learning but

also

feel vivid images related to the curriculum.

Additionally

, visual images can allow learners to memorize things longer and more accurately.

Consequently

, television can be a practical measure to enhance the efficiency of education.

On the other hand

however

, I believe that

computer

games are harmful to children. These can include both physical and mental problems. For the former,

while

students

play

computer

games, they are likely to be sitting for a long time.

This

custom may cause eye strain, shoulder pain and headache. Regarding the latter,

according to

an article by Nikkei newspaper, the number of high school

students

who are suffering from

computer

addiction has increased significantly within the

last

two decades. These

students

feel more anxious and have difficulty controlling their own emotions.

Therefore

, if

students

use electronic devices too much, they can be exposed to negative effects. In conclusion,

although

there are advantages to spending time on these items, we should take into account the bad effects on a child's development.

Submitted by nao.bb0820 on Tue Aug 13 2024

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task achievement

Try to expand your arguments a bit more, especially towards the end of each paragraph. Offering further exploration of points can add depth to your response.

task achievement

Ensure a thorough proofreading to avoid minor grammatical errors and refine your language.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence. For instance, linking the two sides of the argument in your introductory paragraph can promote better cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise, effectively framing the essay.

relevant specific examples

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

educational content
documentaries
enhance knowledge
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving skills
interactive gameplay
computer literacy
sedentary lifestyle
childhood obesity
social skills
peer interaction
exposure
inappropriate behavior
influence negatively

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Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the less of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?