IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #students #study #science #effects #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that these days many
students
Use synonyms
 do not choose to
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
. The question is why not enough
students
Use synonyms
 choose
science
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
.In
This
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss the
causes
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 matter.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has an effect on the community. In terms of the
causes
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 do not choose to
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 it is difficulties as a main
subject
Use synonyms
 , requiring a high grade
in other words
Linking Words
, more effort into studying to earn a high score.
furthermore
Linking Words
, Long time courses, a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 are rushing for their future. For illustration, I chose to
study
Use synonyms
 health
science
Use synonyms
 for 6 years, since the health industry is developing fast, by the time I graduated a lot of things had changed since my first year and that affected me as a healthcare practitioner, in the other hand, my sister chose to
study
Use synonyms
 human resource took her 3 years the advantage is there is nothing changed since she chose the
subject
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, we can not overlook the influence on the community regarding
this
Linking Words
 topic, I believe that if
students
Use synonyms
 continue to not choose
science
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
 and we end up with low
science
Use synonyms
 partitioners, the labour market demands are not gonna be filled. In conclusion, it is evident the
causes
Use synonyms
 that prevent student to not choosing to
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
, and their effects on the community. universities must ensure steps are taken to know the root
causes
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 observation, and prevent
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon from deteriorating future.
Submitted by sarahfahadliv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to ensure that ideas are communicated clearly and accurately.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for the discussion.
Task Achievement
The writer addresses both the causes and effects of the issue, which demonstrates a comprehensive approach to the task.
Task Achievement
A relevant personal example is included, which adds a personal touch and relevance to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
What to do next:
Look at other essays: