IN SOME COUNTRIES, YOUNG PEOPLE AER ENCOURAGED TO WORK OR TRAVEL BETWEEN FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL AND STARTING UNIVERSITY STUDIES. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS?

Travelling to new places often gives

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation new experiences which are helpful for their professional growth. In a few countries, younger age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are motivated to travel to other places or get employed after their board exams and before beginning their

university

Use synonyms

academics.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both the positives and negatives of travelling before starting their higher

education

Use synonyms

studies

Use synonyms

. Students select their professional

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

after finishing their high school

education

Use synonyms

, and sometimes they go through tremendous stress in order to select their

university

Use synonyms

courses. The first advantage of travelling outside the country and getting employed after passing out the board exam is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these pupils can explore new places and

also

Linking Words

get familiar with the courses that are in demand across the world. To exemplify,

Chinese

Correct article usage

the Chinese

show examples

government provide funding to

their

Change the word

the

show examples

younger age group to travel across

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different countries after completion of secondary school, in order to

assists

Change the verb

assist

show examples

them in making smart career decisions.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the second advantage of solo travelling and getting recruited for a job after

college

Use synonyms

makes a person independent,

additionally

Linking Words

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of experience which is necessary for their tertiary

education

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because professional

studies

Use synonyms

is challenging and graduates are required to more vigilant and focused. Henceforth, travelling

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

its own benefits and

also

Linking Words

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

effect on the personal development of a scholar.

Conversely

Linking Words

, travelling across the globe and working after

college

Use synonyms

comes with a few downsides,

such

Linking Words

as pupils loose

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

their

studies

Use synonyms

and

transition

Wrong verb form

transitioning

show examples

studies

Use synonyms

after a gap gets strenuous for them.

Firstly

Linking Words

, individuals at a tender age often get influenced by

people

Use synonyms

who are involved in various illegal activities and give up on their academics. To illustrate, a recent study conducted by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Melbourne

University

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the

show examples

area "why children give up on their academics after

college

Use synonyms

'', exclaims that these young

people

Use synonyms

get influenced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drug and alcohol addicts and end up leaving their

education

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, it becomes

challenge

Correct article usage

a challenge

show examples

for these younger

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people

Use synonyms

transit

Wrong verb form

transition

show examples

university

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

is because they get used

earning

Change preposition

to earning

show examples

money and travelling.

Hence

Linking Words

, progressing towards

under-graduate

Correct your spelling

undergraduate

show examples

programs requires an individual to be determined.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the advantages of going on a vacation and getting hired

Change preposition

show examples

companies after intermediate

college

Use synonyms

are adults get awareness about the sectors which are in high demand in countries and they

also

Linking Words

get invaluable experience which benefits their

further

Linking Words

educational life.

However

Linking Words

, there are a few disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

like the

adolescences

Replace the word

adolescents

show examples

get unconcerned about their

university

Use synonyms

studies

Use synonyms

, and after working and going for a holiday progressing towards

professional

Correct article usage

a professional

show examples

career becomes

strenuous

Add an article

a strenuous

show examples

task.

ali695313

Aug 13, 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the task and provides a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations. Ensure that each point is fully developed with clear and relevant evidence from real-life scenarios or studies.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay is generally well-structured, there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more cohesive devices and transition words could help improve the flow of ideas.

general

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. Simplifying sentences can enhance clarity. Also, make sure to proofread for any minor typos or grammatical errors that might detract from the overall quality of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a thorough understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effectively written, clearly outlining the main points of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported with examples, adding depth to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

433 words

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IN SOME COUNTRIES, YOUNG PEOPLE AER ENCOURAGED TO WORK OR TRAVEL BETWEEN FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL AND STARTING UNIVERSITY STUDIES. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS?

Schools should put more emphasis on sport and exercise, while others believe that schools should focus on science subjects. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

You would like to join the local orchestra Write a letter of application to the orchestra. In the letter: - Introduce yourself and your instrument of choice - Explain how your credentials make you a good candidate - Express your enthusiasm for music Write 150 words .

Many people prefer to watch foreign films than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should the government give more financial support to the local film industry?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.