IN SOME COUNTRIES, YOUNG PEOPLE AER ENCOURAGED TO WORK OR TRAVEL BETWEEN FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL AND STARTING UNIVERSITY STUDIES. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS?

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Travelling to new places often gives
younger
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the younger
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generation new experiences which are helpful for their professional growth. In a few countries, younger age
group
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groups
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people
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are motivated to travel to other places or get employed after their board exams and before beginning their
university
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academics.
This
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essay will discuss both the positives and negatives of travelling before starting their higher
education
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studies
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. Students select their professional
career
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careers
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after finishing their high school
education
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, and sometimes they go through tremendous stress in order to select their
university
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courses. The first advantage of travelling outside the country and getting employed after passing out the board exam is that
,
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apply
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these pupils can explore new places and
also
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get familiar with the courses that are in demand across the world. To exemplify,
Chinese
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the Chinese
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government provide funding to
their
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the
show examples
younger age group to travel across
the
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apply
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different countries after completion of secondary school, in order to
assists
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assist
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them in making smart career decisions.
Furthermore
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, the second advantage of solo travelling and getting recruited for a job after
college
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makes a person independent,
additionally
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,
give
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gives
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plethora
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a plethora
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of experience which is necessary for their tertiary
education
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.
This
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is because professional
studies
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is challenging and graduates are required to more vigilant and focused. Henceforth, travelling
have
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has
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its own benefits and
also
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have
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has
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huge
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a huge
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effect on the personal development of a scholar.
Conversely
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, travelling across the globe and working after
college
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comes with a few downsides,
such
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as pupils loose
interests
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interest
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from
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in
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their
studies
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and
transition
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transitioning
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to
studies
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after a gap gets strenuous for them.
Firstly
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, individuals at a tender age often get influenced by
people
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who are involved in various illegal activities and give up on their academics. To illustrate, a recent study conducted by
the
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apply
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Melbourne
University
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on
an
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the
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area "why children give up on their academics after
college
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'', exclaims that these young
people
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get influenced by
the
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apply
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drug and alcohol addicts and end up leaving their
education
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.
Moreover
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, it becomes
challenge
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a challenge
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for these younger
group
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groups
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of
people
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to
transit
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transition
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to
university
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education
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,
this
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is because they get used
earning
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to earning
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money and travelling.
Hence
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, progressing towards
under-graduate
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undergraduate
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programs requires an individual to be determined.
To sum up
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, the advantages of going on a vacation and getting hired
in
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by
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companies after intermediate
college
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are adults get awareness about the sectors which are in high demand in countries and they
also
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get invaluable experience which benefits their
further
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educational life.
However
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, there are a few disadvantages of
this
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like the
adolescences
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adolescents
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get unconcerned about their
university
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studies
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, and after working and going for a holiday progressing towards
professional
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a professional
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career becomes
strenuous
Add an article
a strenuous
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task.
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and provides a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, it would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations. Ensure that each point is fully developed with clear and relevant evidence from real-life scenarios or studies.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is generally well-structured, there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more cohesive devices and transition words could help improve the flow of ideas.
general
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. Simplifying sentences can enhance clarity. Also, make sure to proofread for any minor typos or grammatical errors that might detract from the overall quality of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a thorough understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively written, clearly outlining the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with examples, adding depth to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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