IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experienc

#countries #university #students #home #study #city #experienc
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At the beginning of
this
 task, I will say that it's essential for everyone to search for opportunities that may change his life it doesn't matter if he will study or learn from where what is really useful is what
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the efforts
this
 person will do to get
this
 knowledge some students will do whatever it wants to get outside countries where they live to go to a high-level universities like oxford or Cambridge because these universities deserve the efforts to at least study there for part-time. Whatever where
this
 student will live, the student who lives in another country will
force
Verb problem
face
show examples
 another challenge than studying there like economic cultures that kind of various ways to live some the people see
this
 as a disadvantage but in my view, it is so useful to know a new people and live between them.
Otherwise
 travelling is a
funny
Correct word choice
fun
show examples
 activity that maybe everyone loves to do I know it's expensive ,but it
deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
show examples
 it.
also
 to be honest living with your family is useful too.
for example
, if you have an
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting
show examples
 day and
returned
Wrong verb form
return
show examples
 to your home you will find your mother and you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 ask her at least for food and
also
 she will care about you if you need something she
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 love to help you and that has happened to me personally. In the end, I want to say that everything in
this
 life has advantages and disadvantages what is really required from us is to make sure that we learn useful information for ourselves.
Submitted by salahsadgg1 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to give the reader a sense of direction. This will help in understanding your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point in a separate paragraph. This will enhance the logical structure and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives (living at home vs. living away) and acknowledges the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The personal example about returning home after an exhausting day adds a nice personal touch to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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