Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their lives. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?
The average childbearing age has been growing because of the combination of the popularisation of higher education and constantly increasing living
costs
. Although
this
phenomenon has reduced population pressure among developing countries, it has actually posed serious threats to the labour market.
Before discussing the pros and cons of birth-delaying, we had better explore the causes first. The primary reason for the phenomenon is that large amounts of young people
, especially women in developed countries, have obtained the opportunity to be educated at university. This
, according to
the UN's research reports, has postponed the average childbearing age by 3.2 years. Moreover
, exorbitant living costs
have also
played a second role. The research by the South Korean government suggests that over half of domestic households have chosen to postpone pregnancy because of concerns about childrearing costs
.
Nevertheless
, some people
optimistically believe that having children later means children will have more mature parents, and this
is desirable. This
may be true but they have ignored how damaging an aging society can be. The Chicago Economy School has long enunciated that prosperity lies in people
's continual innovation. Meanwhile, young people
have the best talent in revolution. With the decrease of them, a vigorous and creative society is hardly conceivable, let alone making it true.
To summarize, the popularisation of higher education and living costs
have made many households postpone their pregnancy plan. This
has immediately resulted in the reduction of young people
and jeopardised the capacity for self-revolution. Therefore
, governments should contrive to reverse the issue.Submitted by hx88375757 on
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task response
While you address the reasons and advantages/disadvantages of the trend, try to elaborate more on your points. Expanding on the pros and cons will give your argument more depth and balance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Though your essay is generally well-structured, transitions between some paragraphs could be smoother to improve overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Using more transitional phrases and connecting words can help improve the reader's understanding of how your ideas link together. This will enhance the logical progression of your essay.
task response
Provide more specific examples or data to support your points further. This can make your argument more convincing and enrich your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
supported main points
Good use of research reports and data to support your points.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by addressing both reasons and consequences of the trend.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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