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Band 7.5

The most important aims of science should be improve the people lives ? to what extant do you agree or not

#science #people #lives
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There is a common belief that
one
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 of the most essential goals of
science
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 should be completely related to how to enhance
people
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's lives . I overwhelmingly agree with
this
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 mindset .
One
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 of the primary reasons for
this
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 is the positive influence of
science
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 in discovering new innovative approaches to deal with a lot of health issues . Let's consider Covid - 19 pandemic as an example , of scientists with their knowledge were able to produce new vaccines to protect
people
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 from these conditions .
Moreover
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, it can significantly improve
people
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's awareness towards possible dangers that they may struggle with, which leads to reducing the risk of disease among
people
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 . Another critical impact of
science
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 is technology , which can not be overlooked .
Science
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 can notably affect
this
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 integral part of our lives to make our tasks more easier and accurate .
For instance
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 , nowadays by combining these two fields together many different robots are made to reduce a lot of stress that these days
people
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 have .
Additionally
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 , economic growth is
one
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 of the main aspects of
science
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 , When scientists built new useful items they were able to capture the attention of
people
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 to invest in their project which not only helped them to think outside boxes but
also
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 reduced the unemployment rate significantly . In conclusion, some
people
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 contend that
science
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 can only have positive impacts on itself and using it in other fields
leads to distract
Verb problem
distracts
show examples
people
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's attention and creates a lot of challenges .
However
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 , l completely reject it,
due to
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 the fact that
science
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 is
one
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 of the essential parts of our lives that covers a diverse range of topics that we can not divide it from other fields.
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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task achievement
While your essay effectively agrees with the notion that improving people's lives should be a key aim of science, consider providing additional specific examples or evidence to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the transitions between paragraphs for even smoother reading. For instance, ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, enhancing the overall flow.
task achievement
You provided a clear and decisive stance in your introduction, setting up the essay effectively.
supported main points
Your essay covers significant points about science’s impact on health, technology, and economic growth.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion clearly frame your arguments, giving the essay a sense of completion.
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