Some people believe that it is beneficial to play sport in a team rather than playing an individual team. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #team

Many individuals acknowledge that

team

play has more significance than personal one.

Although

people

who

busy

Add a missing verb

are busy

show examples

with the

sports

that are carried out by one person have an opportunity to take greetings for themselves, friendship and cooperation make group

sports

superior. Everybody wants to be appreciated and respected

as a result

of their efforts. It is utterly natural.

However

, some individuals are more

self-centered

Change the spelling

self-centred

show examples

than others. They are not likely to share positive things

such

as compliments, and they may be right.

Inasmuchas

Correct your spelling

Inasmuch as

success is obtained by their efforts. An

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

medalist

athletes

Fix the agreement mistake

athlete

show examples

for instance

, shoulders the burden by themselves,

therefore

it is their right to get what is deserved.

Hence

, individual

sports

can be a choice for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sportsmen who are fond of the spotlight. Yet, the

sports

that are done by multiple

people

include many valuable

consepts

Correct your spelling

concepts

such

team

chemistry and getting

along with

teammates. For many

people

, only these are enough to get into

team

sports

branches. Accomplishing an arduous task as a

team

is invaluable for them.

Moreover

, these types of

sports

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

paramount importance for children's life. By attending teams, they can enhance their social and sentimental skills.

Therefore

team

sports

take

Verb problem

play

show examples

valuable

Add an article

a valuable

the valuable

show examples

role in order to improve

people

humanly. In conclusion, it is true that many

sports

people

like to be flattered personally

as a result

of their struggles. But, as it enhances humane values

such

as mutual helping and sharing, being busy with

team

sports

is far more beneficial.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Aug 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between the body paragraphs. Consider using more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions.

task achievement

Provide a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can help illustrate your points more effectively.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.

task achievement

The ideas are well-organized, and you have addressed both sides of the argument effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is beneficial to play sport in a team rather than playing an individual team. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Many people think that countries should import less food and produce more for their population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You left a jacket behind at a restaurant you went to recently. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In the letter •describe the jacket •explain when you visited the restaurant and where you were sitting •say want you want the manager to do.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally Why people buy imported food ? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food ?

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?