Some people believe that it is beneficial to play sport in a team rather than playing an individual team. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many individuals acknowledge that
team
play has more significance than personal one. Although
people
who busy
with the Add a missing verb
are busy
sports
that are carried out by one person have an opportunity to take greetings for themselves, friendship and cooperation make group sports
superior.
Everybody wants to be appreciated and respected as a result
of their efforts. It is utterly natural. However
, some individuals are more self-centered
than others. They are not likely to share positive things Change the spelling
self-centred
such
as compliments, and they may be right. Inasmuchas
success is obtained by their efforts. An Correct your spelling
Inasmuch as
olympic
medalist Change the capitalization
Olympic
athletes
, Fix the agreement mistake
athlete
for instance
, shoulders the burden by themselves, therefore
it is their right to get what is deserved. Hence
, individual sports
can be a choice for the
sportsmen who are fond of the spotlight.
Yet, the Correct article usage
apply
sports
that are done by multiple people
include many valuable consepts
Correct your spelling
concepts
such
as team
chemistry and getting along with
teammates. For many people
, only these are enough to get into team
sports
branches. Accomplishing an arduous task as a team
is invaluable for them. Moreover
, these types of sports
has
paramount importance for children's life. By attending teams, they can enhance their social and sentimental skills. Change the verb form
have
Therefore
, team
sports
take
Verb problem
play
valuable
role in order to improve Add an article
a valuable
the valuable
people
humanly.
In conclusion, it is true that many sports
people
like to be flattered personally as a result
of their struggles. But, as it enhances humane values such
as mutual helping and sharing, being busy with team
sports
is far more beneficial.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between the body paragraphs. Consider using more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can help illustrate your points more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
The ideas are well-organized, and you have addressed both sides of the argument effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?