Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that you can

get

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

success

within

Change preposition

through

show examples

hard work and determination,

however

Linking Words

, others think that income and appearance are

also

Linking Words

more essential factors. Both views will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay before providing my own idea in conclusion which supports the former view.

First,

Linking Words

it is undeniable that,

for being

Change preposition

to be

show examples

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

everyone should be determined and work hard for what they want. Without some skills, it is not easy to achieve a good point.

In addition

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, for a

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

, bright

carear

Correct your spelling

career

, you need some skills to attract everyone.

Furthermore

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, to get

this

Linking Words

knowledge, you should do your best. If you concentrate on what you want to be directly, it is not impossible to reach your goals.

For example

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according to

Linking Words

the “Business” journal, 80% of people in China are successful because of their hard work.

On the other hand

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, money and being good-looking are the most essential things. Nowadays, some popular models and influencers make a living with their appearance. They merely show the product they advertise and

then

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the company pays them a lot of money.

Also

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, when some companies invite you to an interview, they pay attention to your appearance.

Nevertheless

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, it is commonly acknowledged that, when you go to an interview, you should be careful about your clothes.

For instance

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, in Azerbaijan, 70% of companies have their own dress code, which all employees have to obey.

To sum up

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, from what has been discussed above, we may conclude that being determined and working hard are the most necessary things, but

also

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that money and being good-looking play an important role.

gular.taghiyevaTue Aug 13 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the relevant specific examples to demonstrate a wider range of ideas and provide stronger support for your main points.

grammar

Some sentences contain grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. For example, in the first sentence 'within' should be 'with' and 'for a succesful, bright carear' should be 'for a successful, bright career.'

coherence cohesion

Work on improving sentence structure to enhance clarity and flow. Complex sentences can be more effectively constructed while maintaining coherence.

structure

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving a good structure to the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view of both arguments before providing a personal opinion, showcasing good task achievement.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples which help to support the main points discussed.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?[697]

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you thnk the advantages outweigh the disavantages?

Write an apology letter when you missed an appointment with your doctor

Some people believe that traveling to other places is not essential to learn about different cultures as one can gain knowledge from books, movies, and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?