Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that you can
get
success Verb problem
achieve
within
hard work and determination, Change preposition
through
however
, others think that income and appearance are also
more essential factors. Both views will be discussed in this
essay before providing my own idea in conclusion which supports the former view.
First,
it is undeniable that, for being
Change preposition
to be
succesful
everyone should be determined and work hard for what they want. Without some skills, it is not easy to achieve a good point. Correct your spelling
successful
In addition
, for a succesful
, bright Correct your spelling
successful
carear
, you need some skills to attract everyone. Correct your spelling
career
Furthermore
, to get this
knowledge, you should do your best. If you concentrate on what you want to be directly, it is not impossible to reach your goals. For example
, according to
the “Business” journal, 80% of people in China are successful because of their hard work.
On the other hand
, money and being good-looking are the most essential things. Nowadays, some popular models and influencers make a living with their appearance. They merely show the product they advertise and then
the company pays them a lot of money. Also
, when some companies invite you to an interview, they pay attention to your appearance. Nevertheless
, it is commonly acknowledged that, when you go to an interview, you should be careful about your clothes. For instance
, in Azerbaijan, 70% of companies have their own dress code, which all employees have to obey.
To sum up
, from what has been discussed above, we may conclude that being determined and working hard are the most necessary things, but also
that money and being good-looking play an important role.Submitted by gular.taghiyeva on
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task achievement
Expand on the relevant specific examples to demonstrate a wider range of ideas and provide stronger support for your main points.
grammar
Some sentences contain grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. For example, in the first sentence 'within' should be 'with' and 'for a succesful, bright carear' should be 'for a successful, bright career.'
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure to enhance clarity and flow. Complex sentences can be more effectively constructed while maintaining coherence.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, giving a good structure to the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both arguments before providing a personal opinion, showcasing good task achievement.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples which help to support the main points discussed.