Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some argue that the most effective way to manage public
health
problems would be to produce new pharmaceuticals, while
others imply that supporting healthy habits represents a better option. This
essay believes that although
a great variety of medicines provide straight solutions to certain diseases, a balanced lifestyle would always be the key to avoid
them.
On one hand, medical research Wrong verb form
avoiding
have
offered plenty of solutions to almost every medical condition with the use of specific drugs to fight any bacteria or germs. These investigations improve year by year, Change the verb form
has
consequently
they come up with a broader list of medicines that we can ingest. Add a comma
consequently,
Although
it is impossible to deny that they are highly efficient, some of the secondary effects that they produce could make a person think twice before taking them. For example
, it is a fact that "Ibuprofen" (a kind of painkiller) is taken by a high amount of people in Australia. However
, not so many people talk about the side effects that it produces if it is taken for a long time such
as the chance to get any liver damage.
In contrast
, others think that the best step to take in order to improve or prevent any health
issue is to keep a healthy lifestyle. The one that includes constant exercise and a balanced diet in order not only to contract any disease but also
to support in a holistic way a person's wellbeing. For instance
, by the time I arrived to
Australia, I started to feel dizzy and tired Change preposition
in
everyday
. When I had a medical appointment, the doctor said that my body's level of iron was not enough Replace the word
every day
due to
the low iron
diet I was following. Add a hyphen
low-iron
Therefore
, I decided to include more food which contains iron and protein. The changes I made have helped me to keep my health
at its best.
In conclusion, pharmaceuticals will always play a big role in our health
system, providing a quick and effecient
solution to any person who is struggling with certain diseases. Correct your spelling
efficient
Nevertheless
, from my point of view, taking the right measures to prevent these problems represents a wiser choice.Submitted by nila.hiperu on
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General
Overall, try to be consistent with plural forms and articles for improved clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
You may wish to use more transitional phrases to make your arguments flow even more smoothly.
Introduction & Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction that precisely framed the issue at hand.
Task Response
Good use of examples to support your arguments. These examples enhance the clarity and relevance of your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is logically structured with both sides discussed effectively before providing a well-supported conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?