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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agrede or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience . Write at least 250 words

#people #year #school #university #gain #work #travel #life #education #agrede
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Nowadays, youngsters tend to take a
gap
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year
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 between graduating from high school and becoming a freshman at
university
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 in order to prepare for work, travel around the world, and gain benefits
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time when they return. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, because I think that
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
year
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 would greatly improve solitary experience and
university
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 readiness. There are a number of reasons why going straight to
university
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 is a bad idea.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is logical that
students
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 with no experience of living alone will have a difficult time adjusting to student residence
life
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. If individuals prefer not sharing rooms with others, they would have to pay
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extra, which could lead to a lack of money
on
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other crucial products.
Secondly
Linking Words
, freshman
year
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 is one of the most important years of a student's
life
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;
accordingly
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,
students
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 would have burning deadlines when choosing the most suitable
university
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.
For instance
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, many high schoolers regret their choices after their first
year
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 of
university
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,
consequently
Linking Words
 wasting a lot of time applying to other universities.
Finally
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, it is a fact that most
students
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 fail curriculum subjects
on
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in
show examples
 their freshman
year
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, graduates who take a
gap
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year
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 will greatly improve their
CV's
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CVs
show examples
 by participating in various volunteer programs and internships,
therefore
Linking Words
 applying to a better college.
For example
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, many of the
students
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 taking a
gap
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year
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 are applying to Ivy League universities.
Secondly
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, gaining experience
of
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in
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and working would prepare you for dormitory
life
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 other
students
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 who didn't take a
gap
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year
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 struggled with choosing a nice dorm.
Finally
Linking Words
, by working a lot,
students
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 will accumulate a good amount of savings to buy all the equipment required for a comfortable
life
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. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that taking a
gap
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year
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 and spending it productively is a choice that all
students
Use synonyms
 should consider.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction clearly states your position, organizing your ideas into more distinct paragraphs would improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Some minor grammatical and word choice errors exist, such as 'graduates' for high school students and 'solitary experience' instead of 'independent living experience.' Such minor errors do not detract significantly but paying attention to these details can enhance clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and your stance, making it clear to the reader from the start what you aim to discuss.
supported main points
You provide relevant examples and reasons to support your main points about the benefits of taking a gap year, which strengthens your argument.
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