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Band 5.5

The plan below show a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plan #show #school #information #features #comparisons
The map shows the changes that have occurred in a local school area since 1985 until these days.
Overall
, the most notable change is in the enlargement of infrastructure by adding new facilities for students;
however
, the number of students grew from 1500 to 2300 throughout the whole period.
To begin
 with, there were a couple of major changes in the school. The road connecting the entrance and exit and continuing to the playing field was demolished, and
instead
 of
this
, a direct connection of the entrance in the shape of an oval was constructed.
Next,
the car park located on the north side of the classrooms was destroyed as well.
Moreover
, new buildings across the whole territory were sprung up.
Firstly
, the library was divided into two different parts, which are the learning resources centre and classrooms.
Furthermore
, the computer room took place inside a learning resources centre. The northwest region of the playing field, in fact, was the new place for two sports facilities put up next to each other. Classrooms in the east were transformed into two-floor
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.
Submitted by Umar on

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logical structure
To enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, make sure to provide smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words such as 'additionally', 'besides', 'moreover', etc., to connect your thoughts.
introduction conclusion present
Consider rewriting the introduction and conclusion with clearer sentences to enhance readability and coherence. Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
supported main points
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. Group related changes together for better readability.
complete response
The essay covers the main features and changes in the school from 1985 to the present day, fulfilling the task requirements.
relevant specific examples
Relevant specific examples were provided, such as the demolition of the road and car park, and the transformation of the library.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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