Now a lot of people in the college are doing academic study, we should encourage them to learn a vocational skill like plumber, electrician. Do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of which future career should learners choose has sparked considerable debate in recent times. Some people contend that we should stimulate
students
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to have vocational training in fields like plumbing or electrical
work
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besides
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academic study in
college
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. In my point of view, I partly agree with the perspective given.
This
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essay will discuss some reasons in support of my view. On the one hand, there are some arguments in
favor
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favour
show examples
of the idea that we should promote the value of learning practical
skills
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like plumbing or electrical
work
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to
college
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students
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.
To begin
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with, it is a large advantage for
students
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after graduating
college
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with a degree in vocational
skills
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. Before having a full-time
job
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in the field they had studied,
students
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must need a part-time
job
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for income to pay rent and other supplies. Vocational
skills
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like plumber or electrician can meet the needs for a
job
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in
short terms of
Correct your spelling
short-term
show examples
students
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after graduating
college
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.
Furthermore
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, by promoting vocational training, colleges can contribute to a skilled workforce and boost the local economy.
For example
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, some
students
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might not find the career that they have studied in
college
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suitable for them,
instead
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of wasting time to find another field to learn, they can take advantage of the vocational
skills
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they have learned. Vocational training options
such
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as becoming a plumber or electrician are
also
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a great choice for future
careers
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because of the need for those jobs and the irreplaceable of them.
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons against the statement that it's essential to highlight the benefits of acquiring trade
skills
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like plumbing or electrical
work
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besides
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academic degrees in
college
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. One main argument would be that
college
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should primarily focus on academic pursuits and preparation for higher education or professional
careers
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. Learning vocational
skills
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sometimes can cause distraction from studying the main subjects for future
careers
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and create a bad
affect
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effect
show examples
on learners. Another argument would be that vocational trades are less prestigious than academic
careers
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, discouraging
students
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from pursuing them. Most
students
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nowadays seeking for a high paid
job
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instead
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of following a less stable career.
For instance
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,
students
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would rather choose to
work
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as
lawyer
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lawyers
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or white-collar professionals than become
a
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apply
show examples
plumber
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plumbers
show examples
or
electrician
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electricians
show examples
who have to
work
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in harsher conditions. All in all, the facts mentioned above have created a dilemma when people evaluate the effects of
this
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issues
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issue
show examples
, and it has still sparked controversy in recent years. I personally
belive
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believe
show examples
that it could have both sides, people should have
further
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consideration on
this
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issue.
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

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task achievement
You should focus on providing more specific and diverse examples to reinforce your arguments. Try to include more real-life scenarios or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear distinction between your main points and supporting arguments. This will help improve the clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the topic, and your conclusion nicely wraps up your arguments.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a balanced view by presenting arguments both in favor and against the idea.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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