IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

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In recent years, the issue of the fact that people can arrive around the world currently thanks to the rise of inexpensive
airlines
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 has gained significant attention.
While
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 some think that
this
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 advancement is positive,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others state that
this
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 is a negative one.
This
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 essay is dedicated to analyzing both sides, followed by equivalent justifiable reasons. The increasing number of affordable
airlines
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 has numerous positive effects.
This
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 is likely because more
travelers
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travellers
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 now have the opportunity to go overseas, allowing them to experience the cultures of other nations, which in turn strengthens relationships between countries.
For example
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, France used to be a dream destination for many people around the world, but high flight costs often made it unattainable. Nowadays, with the rise of low-cost
airlines
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, holidaymakers can travel there much more easily, giving them the chance to learn about France's customs, cuisine, and daily attire.
Consequently
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, cultural exchange between countries will flourish, and the connections between them will be strengthened.
However
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, there are still some negative issues associated with the reduction in flight prices, particularly the large amount of carbon dioxide emitted by numerous
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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. The primary concern is that the more flights there are, the more harmful gases are released.
Although
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airlines
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 have compensated for
this
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 environmental damage, it cannot completely solve the problem. Specifically, research shows that each plane emits an average of a ton of toxic gas per flight, and as the number of daily flights increases, so does the amount of poisonous gas.
As a result
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, environmental safety continues to deteriorate. In my conclusion,
although
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 it is unfair if the advantage of inexpensive
airlines
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increased
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is not mentioned, its counterpart is an alarming issue and the government needs to be aware of
this
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 problem.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion, but it could be more concise. Aim to reduce redundancy to make it clearer what you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that you expand on your points with more specific examples and explanations to enhance your arguments and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion by mentioning more counterpoints to give the essay more depth.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally well organized, but consider using paragraphing more effectively to clearly separate different points. For example, issues related to environmental impact could be split into multiple paragraphs addressing different aspects.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your transitions between paragraphs and main points. This will help ensure a seamless flow of ideas that guides the reader through your argument with greater ease.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points discussed and reiterating your overall stance more clearly.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, providing a balanced view which is essential for this kind of task.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant examples to support your points, an important aspect in achieving a high score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Affordability
  • Global mobility
  • Convenience
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural exchange
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Drawbacks
  • Sustainable travel
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