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Band 3.5

Write an article, saying whether or not people should set personal goals, giving your views. Write about 120 to 160 words

#article #people #goals
Personal
goals
 Do you have any personal
goals
 that you keep to yourself? Personal
goals
 are something that everyone has on their minds. It's something they want to achieve. In my opinion, I believe everyone should have personal
goals
. When someone has
goals
 that they want to achieve they want to
work
 harder. The harder you
work
 it's like opaque glass becoming clearer. These
goals
 motivate you to
work
 harder to reach your dream. If
anyones
Change to a genitive case
anyone's
show examples
goals
 are more 'simple' than their actual dream, they'll feel some pressure. But
through out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
achieving these simple
gaols
Correct your spelling
goals
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 you realise if you
work
 hard you can reach any goal you want. Having
goals
 may be too much pressure for young people. As it will de-motivate them. But I believe when you fail to achieve a goal you are more determined to
work
 hard and redeem yourself. Some people may say, that even though you tried they can't do it only after trying once. They prefer to take down people with them. But the truth is they haven't worked hard enough. Having personal
goals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 like small lessons that slowly lead you to success. They teach us
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
many things. So, I vehemently believe personal
goals
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a must.
Submitted by maryamshafeeq on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your thoughts more clearly. Ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next will help keep the reader engaged.
Task Achievement
For a stronger task response, aim to provide more relevant and specific examples that support your points. This will help in making your argument more compelling.
Introduction/Conclusion
Polish the introduction and conclusion slightly to reinforce the key message of your essay.
Grammar
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'through out' should be 'throughout' and 'gaols' should be 'goals'.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the importance of personal goals, which is maintained throughout the piece.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of metaphors like 'opaque glass becoming clearer' adds a creative touch to the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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