In many country average weight of the people increasing and fitness levels are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken solve them?

Some
people
getting fat in the world, their
body
shape
is spoil.
That is
why
people
`s lives it`s bad. think
people
should be doctor for themselves. it is undinable,
People
getting fat is very bad case, because
this
case is harmful to their health. If
people
getting fat, they will get ill often. Overweight
causes
to diabetes and human
life
is short.
Also
overweight
causes
to hart
ills
and
cancer
ills
. British scientes say: overweight
causes
the
cancer
ills
frequently. Experts
also
noted that, 6.3 percent
cancer
ills
causes
is overweight. Overweight develops eleven types the
cancer
ill: stomach
cancer
, breath
cancer
, rectum
cancer
so on.
For example
: Jannt Boak, 55, said: " my thing overweight caused to my
cancer
" , she
also
said: " I realized that i am blame for what happened. It can
also
be noted that: when a person exercises o, achieves to beautiful
body
shape
, if
people
exercise
they will no longer overweight,
also
a person achieves a healthy
life
. Sport very important for human
life
. When
people
exercise
they are tall, muscles grow, back grow so on.
For example
: Rocky Balboa. He was 2x world "Heavyweight Champion" Nice
body
shape
makes
people
more attractive.
People
exercise
to have nice
body
shape
. When
people
exercise
, they have more healthy psychology and
people
are more patient. Ultimately, arguments and examples given show that, overweight is very harmful human`s
life
.
Also
different
ills
is case overweight .
Therefore
, is necessary to
exercise
often to get rid from overweight and
ills
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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coherence and cohesion
Work on providing a clear and structured introduction to set the context for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-organized.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and syntax to improve clarity.
task achievement
Use more precise language and avoid repetition to make your arguments clearer.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both causes and solutions for increasing weight and decreasing fitness levels.
task achievement
There are some relevant examples provided to illustrate points, such as mentioning British scientists' findings and the story of Jannt Boak.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • processed foods
  • high-calorie
  • fast food chains
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • balanced diet
  • economic factors
  • urbanization
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • government initiatives
  • educational programs
  • accessibility
  • public awareness campaigns
  • subsidizing
  • nutritious foods
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