Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reason what an be done to teach them this important skills

#people #money #school #reason #be #skills

Nowadays, more a more youngers who have just graduated high

school

have a lack of knowledge about managing their financial resources.

While

the main reason is financial independence provided by younger

parents

, It could be solved by trading

lessons

about

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

school

Parents

who do not set limits to investing

money

could be considered as the main reason why the younger generation does not know how to manage their financial resources. Youth should care about neither taking

money

nor the amount or way of spending it

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

parents

would constantly cover their expenses.

For instance

, when adults have the freedom to spend

money

, they own items that actually are not affordable or necessary.

As a result

, they would keep

with

Change preposition

up with

show examples

this

habit and might become bankrupt.

Therefore

Parents

are the main characters why teenagers cannot invest cash rationally

Although

parents

have led to

this

issue, it could be solved by involving

lessons

about the financial pyramid

as well as

business at schools. If applicants have

this

subject they will be able to cope with financial difficulties since they have been educated in

this

commerce.

For example

, when there are

lessons

about finances at

school

, pupils can not only own necessary goods but

also

save them with profits

such

as in banks.

Thus

, trading

lessons

could provide a littered generation in

this

field. In conclusion, the main objects that contribute to unacknowledged

youngers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

show examples

money

management

Change the verb form

are

show examples

their

parents

while

the solution is at

school

environments and faculties they have. If we had

this

answer previously, we would be protected from financial tricks

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic, but the argument could be developed further with more detailed reasoning and a clearer connection between ideas. Be sure to elaborate on points and provide additional examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining cohesion by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and connectors to ensure a smooth flow of information.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a structured response.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, like the example of financial independence leading to a lack of financial knowledge.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reason what an be done to teach them this important skills

Your opinion

Some people believe that technological advancements have made traditional skills and methods obsolete, while others argue that these skills are still valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are working from home rather than at the workplaces. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.