Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reason what an be done to teach them this important skills

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Nowadays, more a more youngers who have just graduated high

school

Use synonyms

have a lack of knowledge about managing their financial resources.

While

Linking Words

the main reason is financial independence provided by younger

parents

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, It could be solved by trading

lessons

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about

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

school

Use synonyms

Parents

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who do not set limits to investing

money

Use synonyms

could be considered as the main reason why the younger generation does not know how to manage their financial resources. Youth should care about neither taking

money

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nor the amount or way of spending it

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

parents

Use synonyms

would constantly cover their expenses.

For instance

Linking Words

, when adults have the freedom to spend

money

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, they own items that actually are not affordable or necessary.

As a result

Linking Words

, they would keep

with

Change preposition

up with

show examples

this

Linking Words

habit and might become bankrupt.

Therefore

Linking Words

Parents

Use synonyms

are the main characters why teenagers cannot invest cash rationally

Although

Linking Words

parents

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have led to

this

Linking Words

issue, it could be solved by involving

lessons

Use synonyms

about the financial pyramid

as well as

Linking Words

business at schools. If applicants have

this

Linking Words

subject they will be able to cope with financial difficulties since they have been educated in

this

Linking Words

commerce.

For example

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, when there are

lessons

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about finances at

school

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, pupils can not only own necessary goods but

also

Linking Words

save them with profits

such

Linking Words

as in banks.

Thus

Linking Words

, trading

lessons

Use synonyms

could provide a littered generation in

this

Linking Words

field. In conclusion, the main objects that contribute to unacknowledged

youngers

Correct your spelling

youngsters

show examples

money

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management

Change the verb form

are

show examples

their

parents

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the solution is at

school

Use synonyms

environments and faculties they have. If we had

this

Linking Words

answer previously, we would be protected from financial tricks

makemoneyizzy16Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic, but the argument could be developed further with more detailed reasoning and a clearer connection between ideas. Be sure to elaborate on points and provide additional examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining cohesion by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and connectors to ensure a smooth flow of information.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a structured response.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, like the example of financial independence leading to a lack of financial knowledge.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reason what an be done to teach them this important skills

Your opinion

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sometimes, tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem