Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

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There is currently a controversial argument over whether students can study other subjects

in addition

Linking Words

to their core subjects or they should focus on their

courses

Use synonyms

to get an achievement.

Although

Linking Words

both groups have their justifications, I personally believe that the view of the first group is more outstanding. Both sides will be addressed in

this

Linking Words

passage. On the one hand, some pupils are enthusiastic

to study

Change preposition

about studying

show examples

various

books

Use synonyms

which are completely free. The first reason why they believe

this

Linking Words

is that studying gives them a sense of identity,

in other words

Linking Words

, they will be able to gain knowledge of different subjects. Another substantial reason for

this

Linking Words

is that they will be able to change their educational fields if they are more interested in new

courses

Use synonyms

. To be more precise, before entering the universities, the children do not have enough information related to the

courses

Use synonyms

and in consequence, after admitting to the universities they will find out the reality of

courses

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, one of my friends changed her field after spending two semesters at the university. On the other side, others advocate that, if the learners concentrate more and more on their

courses

Use synonyms

, they will be able to fulfil their qualifications.

Furthermore

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that studying other

books

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

seriously time-consuming, the learner will not be able to get good scores in their exams.

For instance

Linking Words

, some

books

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as mathematics are difficult and a long time is needed

for studying

Change preposition

to study

show examples

them. In conclusion, there is a contentious argument over whether studying other

books

Use synonyms

in universities is good or not.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, both sides have their justifications, I undoubtedly believe that

this

Linking Words

matter helps students to learn about various fields and choose the best one.

elnazkarimi1386Mon Jul 03 2023

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Vocabulary

Be cautious about repetitive phrases. Using 'both sides have their justifications' twice in the essay can lower the vocabulary score.

Vocabulary

Be cautious with word usage. The term 'pupils' is generally used for younger students, not those at the university level. Using 'students' or 'learners' would be more appropriate.

Grammar

Use appropriate academic expressions. 'get an achievement' is not a correct term. Consider using 'achieve success in their academic realm' or similar phrases.

Vocabulary

Stay consistent with the terminology you use. At the beginning of the essay, you mentioned 'studying other subjects', but later you referred to them as 'books'. Clearly distinguish between studying 'books' and 'subjects/courses'.

Coherence/Cohesion

The essay would be more cohesive if it made connections between the two differing perspectives. For example, explaining how a balanced approach might be possible or beneficial could help the essay feel more unified.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Your opinion

6.The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Some people think that the benefit of running a small business is to employ family members. What are the advantages and disadvantages of running a family business?

Deforestation is one of the major environmental issues in many countries today. What are the main causes of deforestation? What measures can be taken to reduce its effects?

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?