At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number o young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the number of
youngers
Correct your spelling
young
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are is quite more than elderly people in some parts of the world. In
this
situation,
although
the governments would face
with
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apply
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different challenges, I believe that the benefits of
this
trend outweigh the drawbacks because it helps to
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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of the society
overall
. In countries where the proportion of
youngers
are
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is
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more, hope for the future
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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significantly.
That is
, they tend to create social transformation
as well as
correct the issues in local cultures which prevent the development of their country
while
the elderly people adapt themselves
with
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to
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any
occasions
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occasion
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.
Moreover
, authorities can invest more budget for
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
instead
of decrepitude caring.
For example
, in undeveloped countries, retirements struggle
to
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with
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various skeletal-muscular diseases
which
Correct word choice
and
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checking and curing them need to essential support of
insurances
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insurance
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.
However
, the large number of
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
are
Verb problem
people is
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valuable
Add an article
a valuable
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investment, they
also
are able to generate important challenges for countries.
For instance
, in Iran, contesting for education in university, and entering the graduated students to job market have increased for a long time. If the government cannot provide suitable occasions, and conduct
proper
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a proper
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plan for human resources, they will immigrate hopelessly.
To conclude
,
although
the management of younger adults
have
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has
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particular
cost
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costs
show examples
, they can be completely beneficial, and governments should consider the
youngers
as potential opportunities to develop the economy and society.
Submitted by raha.roham1994 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well supported with evidence and explanation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of having a younger population, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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