At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number o young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the number of
youngers
are is quite more than elderly people in some parts of the world. In Correct your spelling
young
this
situation, although
the governments would face with
different challenges, I believe that the benefits of Change preposition
apply
this
trend outweigh the drawbacks because it helps to growth
of the society Correct article usage
the growth
overall
.
In countries where the proportion of youngers
are
more, hope for the future Correct subject-verb agreement
is
increase
significantly. Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
That is
, they tend to create social transformation as well as
correct the issues in local cultures which prevent the development of their country while
the elderly people adapt themselves with
any Change preposition
to
occasions
. Fix the agreement mistake
occasion
Moreover
, authorities can invest more budget for growth
of Correct article usage
the growth
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
instead
of decrepitude caring. For example
, in undeveloped countries, retirements struggle to
various skeletal-muscular diseases Change preposition
with
which
checking and curing them need to essential support of Correct word choice
and
insurances
.
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
However
, the large number of youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
are
Verb problem
people is
valuable
investment, they Add an article
a valuable
also
are able to generate important challenges for countries. For instance
, in Iran, contesting for education in university, and entering the graduated students to job market have increased for a long time. If the government cannot provide suitable occasions, and conduct proper
plan for human resources, they will immigrate hopelessly.
Correct article usage
a proper
To conclude
, although
the management of younger adults have
particular Change the verb form
has
cost
, they can be completely beneficial, and governments should consider the Fix the agreement mistake
costs
youngers
as potential opportunities to develop the economy and society.Submitted by raha.roham1994 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well supported with evidence and explanation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of having a younger population, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...