In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population of countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The countryside is becoming empty because individuals are leaving the villages
toward
Change preposition
for
cities
. In my opinion, although
rural residents can experience more welfare in the cities
, the moving leads to an increase competition
in Change preposition
in competition
job
market, a rise in house renting, and a drop in agricultural crops.
Add an article
the job
Firstly
, the immigration of villagers cause
a contest for employment particularly in blue-collar jobs. In fact, job vacancies will be occupied rapidly Change the verb form
causes
due to
the growth in city
population. Correct article usage
the city
Secondly
, this
issue affects on
accommodation costs. Change preposition
apply
For example
, in capital cities
, there are
a great deal of demand Change the verb form
is
on
housing Change preposition
for
then
landlords decide to rent their house
to Fix the agreement mistake
houses
maximum
cost.
agricultural crops will decrease significantly in Correct article usage
the maximum
country
provided that the Add an article
the country
rurals
move to Correct your spelling
rural
cities
. In fact, the chain of providing crops completely depends on them such
as cultivating, harvesting, and transferring to cities
. If they leave the farms, entire of these steps will confront various problems.
In conclusion, however
the Add the comma(s)
however,
rurals
benefit from urban facilities, the different problems are generated for jobs, housing, and Correct your spelling
rural
agricultural
industry. Correct article usage
the agricultural
Thus
, the authorities should investigate the causes of immigration and address them.Submitted by raha.roham1994 on
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task achievement
Make sure your essay has clear, well-developed points with specific examples. For instance, elaborate more on how job competition and rising rent affect individuals specifically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. A better transition between ideas can improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points that will be discussed, making it easy for the reader to follow the essay's argument.
task achievement
You have identified several critical consequences of rural depopulation, such as job market competition, housing costs, and agricultural output, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, reinforcing the argument presented in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.