In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population of countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

The countryside is becoming empty because individuals are leaving the villages

toward

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for

show examples

cities

. In my opinion,

although

rural residents can experience more welfare in the

cities

, the moving leads to an increase

competition

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in competition

show examples

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

market, a rise in house renting, and a drop in agricultural crops.

Firstly

, the immigration of villagers

cause

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causes

show examples

a contest for employment particularly in blue-collar jobs. In fact, job vacancies will be occupied rapidly

due to

the growth in

city

Correct article usage

the city

show examples

population.

Secondly

this

issue affects

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apply

show examples

accommodation costs.

For example

, in capital

cities

, there

are

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show examples

a great deal of demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

housing

then

landlords decide to rent their

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

maximum

Correct article usage

the maximum

show examples

cost. agricultural crops will decrease significantly in

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

provided that the

rurals

Correct your spelling

rural

move to

cities

. In fact, the chain of providing crops completely depends on them

such

as cultivating, harvesting, and transferring to

cities

. If they leave the farms, entire of these steps will confront various problems. In conclusion,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

the

rurals

Correct your spelling

rural

benefit from urban facilities, the different problems are generated for jobs, housing, and

agricultural

Correct article usage

the agricultural

show examples

industry.

Thus

, the authorities should investigate the causes of immigration and address them.

Submitted by raha.roham1994 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

Make sure your essay has clear, well-developed points with specific examples. For instance, elaborate more on how job competition and rising rent affect individuals specifically.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. A better transition between ideas can improve the overall coherence.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Use varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points that will be discussed, making it easy for the reader to follow the essay's argument.

task achievement

You have identified several critical consequences of rural depopulation, such as job market competition, housing costs, and agricultural output, showing a good understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, reinforcing the argument presented in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

185 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population of countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people makes? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Traffic jams are considered one of the major obstacles that face large towns around the world. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this problem and suggest possible solutions that can be implemented to handle it.

Some people believe that the responsibility is with the government to control the rise in obesity in children, others think the parents are the cause. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?