In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population of countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The countryside is becoming empty because individuals are leaving the villages
toward
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for
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cities
. In my opinion,
although
rural residents can experience more welfare in the
cities
, the moving leads to an increase
competition
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in competition
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in
job
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the job
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market, a rise in house renting, and a drop in agricultural crops.
Firstly
, the immigration of villagers
cause
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causes
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a contest for employment particularly in blue-collar jobs. In fact, job vacancies will be occupied rapidly
due to
the growth in
city
Correct article usage
the city
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population.
Secondly
,
this
issue affects
on
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apply
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accommodation costs.
For example
, in capital
cities
, there
are
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is
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a great deal of demand
on
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for
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housing
then
landlords decide to rent their
house
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houses
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to
maximum
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the maximum
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cost. agricultural crops will decrease significantly in
country
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the country
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provided that the
rurals
Correct your spelling
rural
move to
cities
. In fact, the chain of providing crops completely depends on them
such
as cultivating, harvesting, and transferring to
cities
. If they leave the farms, entire of these steps will confront various problems. In conclusion,
however
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however,
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the
rurals
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rural
benefit from urban facilities, the different problems are generated for jobs, housing, and
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
industry.
Thus
, the authorities should investigate the causes of immigration and address them.
Submitted by raha.roham1994 on

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task achievement
Make sure your essay has clear, well-developed points with specific examples. For instance, elaborate more on how job competition and rising rent affect individuals specifically.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. A better transition between ideas can improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points that will be discussed, making it easy for the reader to follow the essay's argument.
task achievement
You have identified several critical consequences of rural depopulation, such as job market competition, housing costs, and agricultural output, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, reinforcing the argument presented in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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