IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The map below shows the development of the village of Ryemouth between 1995 and present. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compatisons where relevant.

The map below shows the development of the village of Ryemouth between 1995 and present. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make compatisons where relevant.
#development #village #ryemouth #information #features #compatisons
The maps illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the evolution of Ryemouth town from 1995 to the present day.
Overall
, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 population made the greenery spaces
changed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
into housing and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
. In the present day, numerous house
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been added
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west
side
 of the town to tackle
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rise of resident numbers.
Additionally
, the shopping complex and fish market
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south
side
 have
rebuilt
Add a missing verb
been rebuilt
show examples
 into
restaurants
Correct article usage
a restaurants
show examples
 and apartments zone.
Due to
 those circumstances, the fishing port that
established
Add a missing verb
was established
show examples
 in 1995 has been demolished.
Hence
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east
side
 of the village, farmland and forest park have advanced into sports
facilities
 including
golf
Correct article usage
a golf
show examples
 area and tennis courts.
Lastly
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the southeast
side
, the new parking lot
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 built
besides
Replace the word
beside
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 the hotel.
On the other hand
, the cafe that was located across
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
 hotel is the only authentic building since 1995.
To sum up
, the maps show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 comparison of the designs of
Ryemouth
Correct article usage
the Ryemouth
show examples
 countryside in 1995 and in the present. The
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
 number of villagers demanded governments
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
build many housing
facilities
such
 as housing and apartment
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 that
previously
Add a missing verb
were previously
show examples
 occupied by empty spaces and fish markets. To add up, sports
facilities
also
Add a missing verb
were also
show examples
 established from the land that previously functioned as ranch and forestry.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words facilities, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 3 times.
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