More and more women go out to work. Is it the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staff and facilities to care for their children? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, women are challenging society as they fill a crucial part of the family income by working.

However

Linking Words

, is it a duty of higher authorities to take

care

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

in their absence? I do not think that

this

Linking Words

is the right approach and will state my points to hold my belief in the upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the higher authorities have other big concerns to focus on,

such

Linking Words

as the economy, defence, reducing crime proportion, education, etc.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should spend

this

Linking Words

money on building some beneficial infrastructures, schools, colleges, and universities,

for instance

Linking Words

, fostering better education facilities rather than spending on providing a nanny for every family.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, cheap but informative

day

Correct your spelling

daycare

show examples

care

Use synonyms

has been provided by the

government

Use synonyms

, which is valuable for the growth of

children

Use synonyms

. To exemplify, YMCA is a kids'

care

Use synonyms

brand run by the Canadian

government

Use synonyms

in which parents leave their

children

Use synonyms

from morning till evening. Here, kids learn skills like gross motor, sensory development, communication, etc.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is the responsibility of parents to take

care

Use synonyms

of their

children

Use synonyms

. Leaving them with a non-family member can decrease the affection between the family.

Therefore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

should be taken

care

Use synonyms

of within the family. It is best to leave them with their grandparents as they can

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

some great historical events, ethical knowledge, and practical skills which can help them in the test of time.

To conclude

Linking Words

, considering that the

government

Use synonyms

is responsible for taking

care

Use synonyms

of a child whose mother works, is not a rightful approach, as these authorities have other big matters to focus on.

Therefore

Linking Words

, families should take

care

Use synonyms

of their

children

Use synonyms

and should not blame the country for it.

ipuri645Tue May 20 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Consider providing clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to better indicate the main idea of your arguments. This will enhance the overall logical structure.

task achievement

Expand on some of your points with more detailed explanations or examples. This will strengthen the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

task achievement

Make sure to directly address the prompt in your conclusion, reinforcing your stance more clearly.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument and presents your position clearly.

task achievement

You provided a relevant example with the YMCA, illustrating your point about government-provided daycare effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
subsidies
childcare facilities
economic productivity
financial burden
lower-income brackets
state-sponsored
education and socialization
private sector
strain government resources
reallocation of funds
cultural and societal values

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
With the advent of technological improvements, most children have been inclined to allocate most of their time to their mobile phones. A lack of social skills is the major reason behind this prevalence. I believe that this is a negative development because spending hours on screen can adversely impact children’s physical health.
6.5
band
Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of air pollution in cities is to increase the cost of vehicle fuel. Others think that different measures should be taken. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Many individuals believe that increasing the price of vehicle fuel is the best way to reduce the issue of air pollution in the cities. Whereas, some consider different steps should be taken such as growing more number of trees and managing the industrial pollution. In my opinion, other methods play a major role in reduction of the air pollution.
8.5
band
You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that was booked by the organizer of a company meeting. Write a letter to the organizer of the meeting and include: -Details about the meeting -The problem you face -What should be done
I am writing to express my disappointment with the service I received during my recent stay at your hotel in Bangalore.
6.5
band
In some countries there are more yung people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent times, there have been more youth in some countries preferring to join the work field instead of attending universities. This essay will discuss the argument supporting the advantages and disadvantages.
7.5
band
Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent years,there has been a growing debate regarding what the main purpose of museums should be.While some assert that museums should be a place where individuals can enjoy themselves as it can be a more effective way of learning as well as gaining more income,others,including me,believe that the major aim of museums should become to educate people because it is for gaining deeper understanding and broadening horizons of people,not for entertaining .

More and more women go out to work. Is it the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staff and facilities to care for their children? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of air pollution in cities is to increase the cost of vehicle fuel. Others think that different measures should be taken. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that was booked by the organizer of a company meeting. Write a letter to the organizer of the meeting and include: -Details about the meeting -The problem you face -What should be done

In some countries there are more yung people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.